Wreaking Havoc
by LuckyLink7
Summary: A Rebel Group and an exiled fairy could lead to the ultimate collision between humans and fairies. Artemis Fowl the Second is pulled into a crazy journey full of confusing questions, one of which is far more frightening for him than all the others: the question of the devilishly attractive Holly Short.
1. Chapter 1

"If there is one thing I truly despise," said Artemis Fowl, "It's this blasted curdling feeling in my stomach. It feels like a thousand cockroaches crawling about on their puny legs." He paused, a little surprised at that. He had never thought he had a flair for poetry.

Butler, who was chopping up onions at a rate that would cause even the most efficient chef to faint, said nothing. When Artemis was in one of these moods, it was best to keep your mouth shut. Especially when his salary would be being paid next week.

"I am unfamiliar with it, Butler," said Artemis, swiveling around on his real leather chair and his long fingers to his temples. "And I really don't like being unfamiliar with something."

Butler gave a grunt, throwing the onions into a plastic bowl. "I would tell you what I think, but I believe you won't like it."

Artemis frowned at him. "Butler, really. I can handle something as juvenile as this." He pulled at the hem of his silk shirt, mildly irritated. "You cannot believe how much this is frustrating me."

Butler wondered briefly whether or not he should get Juliet to carry out this task. But then he remembered that she was in Vietnam, being trained by the most adept of mixed martial arts. His little sister was really growing up.

"I think," he said, deciding not to look at the pale boy who sat at the large, oak dining table, "that you are developing feelings." He didn't mean to stop there, but he was gathering his thoughts. Something that, unfortunately, Artemis did not take to very kindly.

"I do have feelings, Butler," he said stiffly. "Were you not watching me develop myself over the past couple of years?"

"For the fairy," said Butler, realising that there was no way of applying euphemism to the statement. He allowed himself a wince as he looked at Artemis. His expression, generally unreadable, was now slack with either shock or horror.

If only I could take a picture, thought Butler. But then he remembered the salary.

"Holly Short," he clarified. Just in case the poor boy was thinking of Mulch Diggums or Opal Koboi. Just in case.

Artemis's face tightened again. "That was unnecessary," he said. "Clearly you were talking about Holly. But you're wrong."

Butler gave a half nod. The boy was still growing up; he would figure it out for himself once he started blushing around her and stammering the words of his long-winded, intellectually superior sentences.

"I mean, some things happened when we went through the time portal together, but that's completely besides the point. She's a fairy and she's in Haven City. Totally unaccessible. Not that I care."

Butler had never seen Artemis so agitated. It made him a little sad; even his employer was growing up. Of course, he couldn't deny that it amused him more.

After a moment of silence Artemis spoke.

"Well?" He looked at Butler expectantly. Butler was thrown.

"Well what, Artemis?"

Artemis gave a long sigh. "You're my bodyguard. Do something about this."

Butler almost laughed. Of course, almost. Artemis did not enjoy being laughed at. "I protect your body, not your heart," he said, sort of enjoying being cheesy. Artemis scowled at him.

"Alright. Well, we have no business with the fairies any longer, so everything should be normal in no more than two weeks. A rough estimate, of course. I'm excluding sleeping and exercising." Artemis had finally started to pay more attention to his body; three rounds of the manor with Beckett was sufficient for him.

Later, Butler decided, he would bring Artemis over to the private gym in the bottom floor. Most of the equipment there was definitely too much for him, but five kilo weights should be easy enough even for his employer.

"You'll find that you think more in bed," he said. Artemis, seeming to have lifted his dark, moody self, gave Butler what almost looked like a grin.

"I'm a mastermind," he said. "A boy genius. Falling asleep with the right thoughts are elementary to me."

* * *

That night, Artemis couldn't sleep. He would concentrate on his beautifully crafted plan, one involving a certain dwarf and a rival company of his own Phonesmart under the pseudonym Erik John Stewart. However, barely five minutes had passed before his mind began slipping towards a slender elf with a devilishly attractive crew cut and mismatched eyes.

Artemis hit his forehead with a clenched fist. It hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

The clay was a little too firm for the kleptomaniac dwarf's liking; indigestion probably wasn't an option.

_That's the price you pay for crime_, the dwarf thought, unhinging his jaw and diving into the ground as if it was nothing more unyielding than water. Which, to those massive, skull-crunching teeth, probably was.  
To the observer, it would seem as though the short, stout and undeniably ugly creature had simply disappeared. In actual fact, the dwarf was munching through the clay at an alarmingly fast rate, already fifteen kilometres below surface level by the time you said "impossible".

Of course, Mulch Diggums didn't have to tunnel so deeply to break into the building. For one thing, the humans who lived there hadn't even bothered to put any form of security measures more than half a kilometre deep underground, which was pretty disappointing for Mulch. As much as he liked relaxing with a bowl of hot slug-soup in a pool of oozing, bubbling mud – pure bliss – he wasn't called a kleptomaniac dwarf for nothing. If anything, he enjoyed the thrill of breaking into a dwelling and doing what he did best rather than enjoying the comfort it gave to him later in life.

And for another thing, mud people never checked underground. They never did, narrow minded and ignorant as they were.

Except for one, of course.

The dwarf burst out of the ground of what looked like a basement. And of course it was a basement; everything had been planned. Crates upon crates were stacked up all around the room, old posters unravelling in cobwebbed corners and last year's computers standing precariously atop each other.

Mulch checked his locator; a stolen piece of LEP equipment that Artemis had modified. It was heat-sensitive, whisper-sensitive, voice-coded and in real time. The red blip on the mini screen was directly above him. Perfect, exactly as planned.

Although, nothing less could be expected from Artemis Fowl.

Mulch went over to the steel basement door, trying the door. As expected, it was locked tight. Not a problem with the Omnitool and a strand or two of stiff dwarf hair, but the guards' headquarters were right upstairs. And he wouldn't put it past his body to let the tunnelling gas out at any means possible, especially after all that dense clay, at the most unfortunate of moments. Besides, he was no pixie and could not sneak past a roomful of trained guards that easily.

Instead, Mulch looked up. There was a metal grate blocking a rusting shaft, tucked into the corner of the room, and too high for the short fairy. Not even bothering to try reaching the thing, Mulch activated a 'borrowed' set of Hummingbird 7000, rising to the ceiling with barely a sound. Feeling nauseated and deciding that next time he would find an alternative that involved both feet staying on the ground, Mulch reached for the grate. Using it to hold himself in place, the dwarf took out a Neutrino 5000, pointing it at the edge of the grate. One short laser beam through the concrete would do.

Mulch took steady aim; or, at least, as steady as a flying dwarf can get it.

"What on –"

In his deep and blameless shock, Mulch let go of the grate and Neutrino, losing control over the Hummingbird and flying all over the basement, eventually settling on top of the precariously placed computers. Precariously being the key word.

Everything fell to the ground, screens cracking and keyboards crunching. Keys skittered over the uneven floor like mice, hardware and webcams falling one after the other onto the ground. Unfortunately, this caused quite a loud din.

Mulch Diggums had a brief moment of hope that the guards hadn't heard anything.

Regrettably, Mud Men weren't that stupid.

As soon as shouting and the stamping of feet could be heard, Mulch Diggums turned tail and leapt back into the ground, munching through what he had digested less than ten minutes earlier. It wasn't a very pleasant thought, but neither was being in the hands of the Mud Men.

It wasn't long before he realised that there was someone on his tail. He let loose the gas that had been building up inside him, blowing half-digested lumps of clay into the pursuer's face. This didn't seem to be deterring the pursuer, which doubtlessly unnerved the dwarf. Did Mud Men have the technology to withstand the release of powerful methane gas now?

_If I ever get out of this_, thought Mulch, _I swear I'll educate myself_.

He suddenly felt his pursuer rise above him. Arms wrapped around his body and then he was being lifted to the surface.

Mulch tried to flail about, but it was quite difficult to do that when you were surrounded by dirt. He was pushed behind a tree, and he wondered briefly whether he should try getting back underground; it was his only hope.

But then he remembered the sort of technology the Mud Men must have now.

He turned around slowly, hairy arms raised. "Just kill me quickly," he said, throwing his head back to the stars dramatically. Even as a young dwarf he had been quite the entertainer.

"Be quiet, ugly," was the reply. Mulch blinked. There was another dwarf in front of him – quite a rarity, as dwarfs preferred isolation – and it was a female. Mulch could tell because of the way she had called him ugly. Female dwarves flirted in that way, every male dwarf knew that.

Although this dwarf didn't look much like she was flirting, something Mulch could not understand. It was outrageous.

"You're quite the muncher," the female dwarf continued, "And I can't deny the explosion at the other end. But I was still bumping into those flabby feet every split second. We were both going to die of old age if I didn't get us out."

Mulch didn't know what to indulge his thoughts in first. Her use of 'flabby feet', which certainly wasn't a compliment, the way she wasn't falling in awe at his good looks and charisma, or what she was doing in the basement of TecH in the first place.

He decided that the last part held the greatest importance at the moment, and he could work backwards from there.

"Good evening to you too, Mademoiselle. Was there any special reason you were in the Mud Men's basement? Or, if it's just a matter of having lost your way, would you like me to walk you to your destination?" he asked, giving a little bow. Who said he wasn't good with the ladies?

The thought of how the female dwarf had got into a human dwelling without becoming sick crossed his mind, but he decided that that could be brought up over a glass of liquefied slug liver at a fancy restaurant for criminals.

The other dwarf stared at him with her green eyes. "I saved an imbecile," she said, and dived back into the dirt.

Mulch Diggums stood there, pained to his very buttocks that were being cooled by the pleasant evening breeze seeping through his open bum flap. He had been turned down by the first female dwarf he had ever seen since his days still at school, over a thousand years ago.

It was quite depressing, to say the very least.

* * *

Artemis Fowl stared at the computer screen. He had been following every move the professional criminal had been making through a tawny eye with the help of stolen cam lenses. Every move up until the 'romantic' bit where Mulch attempted to woo the female dwarf, compelling the boy to capture the moment on video to use in case it ever came in useful as blackmail or some other nefarious plan.

Usually, the son of one of the most well-known and affluent kings of the darker side of the world would not lower himself to the standard of immature children. Usually, yes, but Artemis Fowl was a little more than slightly irritated. There was a reason he had employed the dwarf, and it wasn't for his devilish charm around the ladies.

"Mulch!" he barked into the microphone. Obviously, there was no real need to bark into the microphone. It was whisper-sensitive, as was everything else the LEP made and Artemis upgraded. And he usually wouldn't bark at his friend, but being a little more than slightly irritated did that to people.

"Sorry, Mud Boy," said Mulch. He sounded a little gloomy himself, although Artemis suspected that it did not have much to do with having failed the mission. "Do I at least get a quarter of the gold?"

Artemis didn't bother answering that. "Get out of there, quick," he said.


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing goes my way, thought Artemis Fowl the Second as a LEPrecon officer led him and Butler through an underground chamber to a pod. The pixie's polished name tag said 'Chix'. Artemis wondered in what state his mother had named him.  
"Here y'are," said Chix, stepping back proudly to inspect the beaten grey pod, the only form of transport to Haven. "Made 'er myself. I mean, no, not completely, but I helped. With the plannin' and all."  
Artemis wasn't sure he wanted to know that. He climbed into the vehicle of sorts, sure that if he lingered for even a second longer his nerves would have left him. Riding the pod wasn't the most comfortable way of travelling.  
The pod dipped and groaned ominously as Butler stepped inside. He gave Artemis a reassuring pat on the shoulder, resulting in the pod sinking on its wheels a few centimetres more.  
Artemis found he could speak.  
"This is, ah, a licenced pod, I take it?" he said. Chix, jumping into the driving seat, gave the boy a not-as-reassuring grin.  
"Of course not," he said. "Are you Mud Men stupid or somethin?"  
Artemis felt he was missing something.  
"It's perfectly reasonable to ask such a question," he said, a little annoyed. "So if you would care to explain what Butler and I are doing in an illegal pod, we would like to know immediately. Just a fun fact, but Butler has twenty-seven different types of weaponry on hand at the moment and he is fairly adept at using thirty-five of those. So, if you please."  
Artemis didn't feel as if he was saying those words, but rather listening to a stranger reciting them. How many times had he made icy threats such as these, and always without hesitation? Now it felt inexplicably wrong.  
Chix was still trying to figure out how twenty-seven was the same as thirty-five when Butler hit him over the head with a huge fist. The connection was quite loud, and the pixie crumpled to the floor of the pod. His chest rose and fell gently as he dreamt of flying with new, pastel-blue wings.  
"We can't trust him, Artemis," said Butler in his low, gravelly voice. Artemis shook his head, pressing his temples with his long fingers as he gazed down at the unconscious pixie.  
"I'm not sure that was an entirely - oof."  
Artemis was flung across the chamber by Butler's huge weight, hitting the opposite, stone-covered wall. Butler rolled away from his employer so as not to smother him, staring at the pod as it roared to life on its own and shot down the tunnel. There was a stretched moment of silence before everything exploded as, with an enormous, ground-shuddering crash, the pod hit the sweltering Earth's core and, put simply, was destroyed. Huge columns of flame shot out of the tunnel, rushing through the chamber towards Artemis and Butler. Butler grabbed Artemis, lifting him right off his feet, and began to fling him out of the place when the huge bodyguard was hoisted into the air by his waist. Artemis, already only half conscious, felt nausea washing through him in waves as the flames licked at the stone below and the two humans were flown to safety.

* * *

Artemis collapsed onto the grassy field of an abandoned piece of farmland, the soil too poor for agriculture and the place too small for anything other than a cottage. He struggled up until he was kneeling, gasping in fresh air and dispelling the smoke from his lungs. To his right, Butler was already on his feet and talking to someone. Artemis, too weak to do anything other than stare at the grass as the nausea passed, caught only snatches of their conversation.  
"...Welcome, but why did Chix drive straight into the core?...It was a good thing you weren't in there..."  
"Enough of that for now - what on earth have you gotten us into, Holly?"  
Artemis looked up so fast he felt his face pale from a new wave of nausea. Holly Short, first female LEPrecon officer in history, was hovering at eye level to Butler. Artemis noticed that she had grown her hair.  
"He -" Artemis cleared his throat, coughing the remaining debris stuck in it. "Hello, Holly."  
Holly looked at him, his blue eye on her face strangely fascinating.  
"Hello, Arty," she said, smiling a little, and Artemis felt a rush of pleasure at the pet name. "Are you feeling alright?"  
"Yes," said Artemis. "Thanks for saving me and Butler." He then meant to ask her about the business with Chix and, in fact, the entire business with everything to do with coming here, but his mouth wouldn't do it.  
"So, you grew your hair?"


	4. Chapter 4

There was a rather awkward pause.

"Yes," said Holly, who was fairly pleased that the boy had noticed. She gave her auburn hair a bit of a pat; ever since it had grown out of its crew cut, she had been a little self-conscious about it. A little more like a female fairy who didn't work as a LEPrecon officer.

Butler cleared his throat.

"This isn't the time for tearful greetings," he said in his hoarse voice, stepping in between the two. Holly shook her head.

"No, you're right," she said.

"It wasn't tear –"

"Quiet for a minute, Artemis," said Butler. Artemis fell into a rather resentful silence. "If you would care to explain, Holly? You nearly got the two of us killed."

Holly twisted her long fingers together uncomfortably, hovering higher and higher as she grew more fidgety.

"The thing is…" she began. "The LEPrecon have found…" her voice tailed off as she seemed to become more and more uneasy. Her face was beginning to pale, but that could just have been the light.

Artemis felt his fingers twitch involuntarily as he began counting her words. Four. Death. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of happy thoughts, but the number four only grew beneath his eyelids.

The boy could feel his sub conscience, Orion, struggling to surface. Artemis felt mortified and heat rushed to his cheeks as he remembered all that the galling 'other personality' had put his body through.

"You can stay there," he told himself, intentionally counting four words. He was a genius – this was below him, surely. Self discipline, that was all he needed.

"Sorry, Artemis?" said Butler.

"Carry on," said Artemis quickly. "I was merely thinking aloud."

He looked towards Holly, only to find that she wasn't there anymore. In fact, she didn't seem to be anywhere.  
Artemis suddenly felt a great force to his side as his bodyguard tackled him for the second time in less than ten minutes.

_I am going to break my ribs soon_, he thought as he hit the dusty earth. His left cheek pressed rather uncomfortably to the ground, he heard Butler's heavy breathing as the burly man leapt to his feet and drew a Sig Sauer from his jacket.

Artemis rolled over onto his back to see Holly hovering high above him with Butler training his gun on her. But this wasn't the oddest thing.

Holly's head was as limp as a fish out of the sea, rolling about as she appeared to sleep…with her eyes open. With a Neutrino in her hands.

"Holly –" the elf's name was all that left the boy's mouth before she suddenly shot straight up as though she was a puppet that had been pulled up too quickly by the strings. Far up ahead a strange form of transport, shaped rather like a nail, flew to collect her before turning its nose to the sky and disappearing amongst the clouds.

"Holly!" Artemis scrambled to his feet but got no further as Butler blocked his path.

"I suggest you stay put, Artemis," he said, still holding his Sig Sauer in one hand. "Someone's clearly out to get you, and taking Holly must have either been a decoy, puppet spy or bait."

Artemis knew this already, but hearing Butler say it out loud made the words ring in his head uncomfortably.

"I doubt she was a decoy, Butler," he said, rubbing his face and crouching to the ground wearily. "It was impossible for us to follow them unless we had also been in a flying vehicle at that very moment. I believe she is both puppet and bait. But nobody knows of my – our – relationship with Holly Short. Why would they have chosen her as a puppet, and why would they have chosen her as bait?"

Butler gave his employer a rather kind smile.

"It's very clear that you two are quite close for Mud Man and fairy. If you don't mind me saying so, Artemis, the two of you looked almost like –"

Artemis suddenly found he didn't want to hear anymore.

"I think we should alert the LEP," he said abruptly, and reached for the communicator in his watch.


	5. Chapter 5

**I want to thank all of my readers! ^-^ I feel smiles bubble in my chest every time someone adds my story to their story alerts. I took the time and effort to produce a longer-than-usual-for-me chapter, but unfortunately it's getting more and more difficult for me to try and keep the characters somewhat…in character. I guess it's because the story plot is mine, thus veering me further and further away from Eoin Colfer's idea path thing. Happy reading!**

* * *

Commander Trouble Kelp paced the conference room, checking the time every few minutes. Where was Foaly? The blasted centaur probably thought appearing fashionably late to something as important as this was impressive and amusing. It was neither.

"Commander," said a burly elf. With the LEPrecon uniform straining tightly at stocky limbs and an earring hole that was rumoured to have been a bullet just missing his face, General York was gifted in the area of interrogating criminals - they tended to take one look at him and pour their mouths out.  
Commander Kelp grunted rather unprofessionally.

"I think we could continue without the technician for the moment." York's voice was uncharacteristically soft and high for such a formidable body.

"We'll wait, General –"

The oak doors were flung open, narrowly missing Kelp. He stumbled backwards and was reaching for his Neutrino before he realised who it was.

"Artemis Fowl," he said, not very kindly. To be quite honest, the Mud Man wasn't the most favourite of his kind. "What on earth-"

Artemis gave an inattentive sort of nod as greetings, seemingly oblivious to the dozens of staring eyes around the conference room. "Kelp, something fairly odd has happened less than twenty minutes ago."

"Where – how – how did you get here?" Kelp snapped, bristling. Was this Mud Man getting through the finest of LEP technology with as much ease as a stink worm bathing in troll dung?

"I managed to contact Foaly, and he lifted security briefly, but I couldn't get through to you," said Artemis. "I think I may have held him up in attending this conference. He should be here soon." Realising where he was, he straightened his suit and nodded at the council. "I feel rather apologetic for interrupting this conference, by the way," he said, trying to look sincere.

"It hadn't even started," muttered Kelp, despairing at how bad his day was going. But being the Commander he was, he took things in his stride. "Well, my communicator is certainly working," he said, tapping the LED screen of his watch-like contraption. "The red connector light is blinking, indicating that I am in –" His voice trailed off as he stared harder at the screen. There was a moment of silence in which Butler glared suspiciously at everyone around the conference table and Artemis tugged a little at his tie.

"D'Arvit," growled the Commander. "York!" he barked, although there wasn't any real need to. Everyone was staring at the three at the front of the room. "Someone's been tampering with the LEP equipment. Go place fifty or so officers around the building – we may be expecting company."

"Yes sir," said York, leaping to his feet with surprising agility for his hulking body.

"And you two," said Kelp, turning to face Artemis and Butler. "We need to keep an eye on you."

"What –" began Artemis.

"You two are being regarded as suspects for the time being. No one else would and could have affected LEP equipment like this except for the pair of you. You in particular," he added, jabbing a finger in Artemis's face.

Butler began to make a move, but then seemed to decide that it wasn't a good idea. Sure, he could leave this room unscathed, probably. And maybe even make it halfway through the corridor. But that was about it, and now that he was growing older he didn't want to test his strengths in such an uncertain manner. Besides, he and Artemis were nearly friends with some of the People. He'd hate to hurt some of them.

Kelp gave a little nod at Butler's decision, which had not gone unnoticed.

"Follow me," he said, and began to lead them out of the conference room, but he only got as far as opening the door.

With a colossal crash, the ceiling caved inwards.

Everything was a crazy mass of uncoordinated panic. Dust and debris covered the huge room, giant blocks of reinforced metal becoming hazards over safety. Artemis had been flung forwards by the sudden force, far out of the room through the open door to the very solid wall opposite. He shut his eyes tightly as he connected. It hurt a fair bit.

_In fact_, thought Artemis vaguely as he felt himself slipping out of consciousness, _I think I may have finally broken my ribs._

He could hear Butler calling him, but he was too far gone to answer.

* * *

Everything hurt. His eyes, his throat, his head, his ribs.

Artemis opened his eyes slowly, taking in his surroundings from under his eyelashes. There was Butler, talking in a fairly irate manner to an equally frustrated Commander Kelp. There was Foaly, furiously typing codes into a portable computer. There was Holly, her hand over his chest as blue sparks danced over his body.

Holly!

Artemis sat up too quickly and felt his newly repaired head spin. He was in a hastily made bed, no more than a discarded mattress with a few roughly plumped-up pillows. They had hoof patterns on them, giving him the impression that the owner could only be Foaly.

"Holl –"

"Artemis!" said Butler, at Artemis's side in two strides. "Do you feel any dizziness? Nausea?"

"I'm fine, old friend," said Artemis, holding his head as he waited for the spinning to go away. "I just sat up too fast. How are you? And what happened?" He looked at Holly, who still had her hand on his chest. The fairy magic continued to work on his broken ribs, knitting them back together and healing his broken skin. "And what on earth was that with you?"

"I am also fine," said Butler, placing a heavy hand on Artemis's shoulder. "It appears somebody wanted you – or the council – dead. And they succeeded. With the council, anyway."

Artemis felt himself pale. The council was dead? The people who made everything happen, who controlled Haven itself with the law…

"I found myself near the conference room. It's very lucky that you three were near the entrance, and the door was open," said Holly gravely. "Otherwise you would have suffered the same fate. Crushed under a five hundred kilos of…" she shuddered. "I don't know what happened before, and how I ended up so close to the conference room. When I tried to attack you two. I don't even remember it." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She removed her hand, leaving Artemis feeling a little empty. He sat up straight, his back against the wall, and looked around properly for the first time.

They were in a small room, as blank and empty as fresh paper. It appeared to be a hideout of some sort, but he couldn't be sure.

"Where are we?" he asked anybody who could answer.

Foaly, who had been too deeply immersed in his technology to notice the brief exchange, now looked up.

"You're awake!" he exclaimed. "Finally. Typical of Mud Men, to sleep while danger lurks ever closer. Just kidding," he added hastily as Artemis opened his mouth to retort. "You two are my favourite Mud Men, you know that."

"Calling us Mud Men doesn't make it seem like it," grunted Butler. Foaly pointedly ignored him.

"We're in a hideout," he said, addressing Artemis and proving that the boy was – as usual – correct. "Those guys are probably after us. Do you know how I feel being so far away from my lab? Terrible! I feel so exposed, and I even lost my tinfoil hat as I rushed here to save the day."

"This is no time for jokes, Foaly," said Trouble quite snappishly. "We can't stay here forever like sitting ducks. Who knows what's happened to my best men, sent outside? Crushed as well, I'd wager."

Foaly pouted his large, horsey lips. "Aw, come on, Trubs," he whinnied. "You've gotten so boring. So…beetroot-like." He paused to respect the former commander's memory. "It's no good being uptight."

Commander Kelp disregarded the centaur, turning his attention to Butler as he began to speak.

"But what of Captain Short?" the huge bodyguard said. "I feel regretful saying this, Holly, but you're a fair threat to Artemis and the rest of us so long as you're able to be controlled."

Holly's face flushed angrily, looking away. "I wish I remembered," she said. Sighing, she played idly with the shining acorn pinned to her lapel. "You're right, Butler. Perhaps I should leave. I am only a threat."

"No, we surely can trust Holly not to hurt us," said Artemis, trying to keep his calm even as his mind – probably Orion – urged him to take action against the eviction of the maiden.

"This isn't a question of trust, Fowl," said Trouble, but he too looked reluctant. "Stay, Captain Short, but know that you will have to be watched. It's not only for our own good but for yours as well."

Holly crouched on the linoleum floor wearily, a gloomy prisoner of her friends.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't know how you do it, FFcrazy15, but you have a way with flattering me :3. The summary has now been changed. I also love the idea of Orion resurfacing at the most unwanted moments – thanks for the reviews! A character I created appears here – think you call it an OC, but I'm not familiar with fanfiction terms. Enjoy~**

* * *

"Artemis and I will not stay," said Butler. The two humans were at the door of the small, reinforced room, the fairies clustered in the middle.

"It's too dangerous," objected Trouble. "Someone clearly wants either - or both - of you dead. And you would be handing yourself in on a silver platter if you walked out now."  
"The commander's right," said Holly, stepping forwards. "For all we know enemies could be waiting outside the door right now."

"And they may not, but might as well be if we stay here much longer," said Butler, gently pushing Holly back. "I fear for Artemis's safety in here - it's a bodyguard's nightmare. Being stuck in a room with no emergency exits and one door..." He gave a slight shudder.  
Holly opened her mouth to respond, but Artemis stepped forwards and placed his hands on her shoulders.  
"It's not just us," he said. "You three must leave here as well. We would take you with us but it's better if we stay split up. Confuse the enemy, buy us some time."  
"Time for what?" said Holly, but she was resigned. She looked up at Artemis, realising how tall he had become. He was leaving boyhood, becoming a responsible man now.  
She gave a snort. She would have escorted herself to the nearest mental asylum if she had thought of Artemis as a responsible man two years ago. But times changed, and so did people.  
"Don't feel too bad about yourself," said Artemis, referring to when Holly had tried to kill him less than forty eight hours ago. "And we still don't know for sure that it's you who blew up the ceiling in the conference room."

Artemis looked around at the others in the room. They were all staring at his hands still on Holly's shoulders.  
The boy relinquished his grip quickly and stepped back, clearing his throat.  
"We'll see you soon, I expect," he said loudly to the room in general. There was a collective grunt from the fairies.

"Once I clean the virus from the main communicator, the rest should start working too," quipped Foaly from the back of the room, laptop in one hand. "It must be a virus. I can't think what else it could be. And once that's sorted, we'll come in contact with you."

Artemis nodded, then looked at Butler.

"Shall we go, old friend?"

* * *

Surprisingly enough, the two humans managed to reach the Fowl's private jet and fly back home without running into any life-threatening hurdles. Butler was extremely suspicious throughout the whole flight, insisting on pacing the jet travelling at 180 mph rather than strapping himself in. Artemis didn't like seeing his friend so on edge, because seeing one's bodyguard on edge makes oneself on edge.

_It's ridiculous_, he thought. _I'm turning into a gibbering idiot, like…Orion._

He shivered.

_But I am Orion, and Orion is me._

His mind just about imploded, and he remained tight-lipped until they landed outside Fowl Manor.

"Home sweet home," muttered Artemis as he keyed the password into the door. It was a fifty-three character password accompanied by an iris scan and thumb-print verification, but the boy went through the process as idly as if he were opening the reinforced steel door with a key. He had long since accepted Butler's rigid new suggestions ever since a threat sent by an untraceble email. It was nothing new to Artemis, but after the events in Haven he was quite happy for the extra protection.

One foot was inside the thickly carpeted corridor when an unfamiliar voice broke the silence.

"Artemis Fowl the Second, a moment I would like."

Artemis whirled around, Butler stepping in front of him. The boy looked around his bodyguard's broad back, his eyes falling on a rather taller-than-normal female dwarf with astonishingly green eyes. Garbed in blue, she looked most uncomfortably familiar.

"Dwarf," said Artemis, giving a slight nod. In his brain he was running through all the options. Was this fairy a spy? One of the enemies? Or had something happened in Haven during that short length of time? "Who are you and what do you want?"

The dwarf took a step forwards, but stopped well short of Butler.

"My name would be Teteph Molehunter," she said. Her voice was oddly gravelly and the way she pronounced her words her clear and concise. "I have come to make an agreement." She nodded at the manor. "If I may, Master Fowl." With surprising agility she stepped around Butler and Artemis and entered the house.

Artemis would have waited for the fairy to begin vomiting and crawling about and etcetera, but he knew better. This dwarf knew what she was doing, reminding Artemis strongly of Mulch Diggums.

Then he remembered. Teteph had been in the TecH basement at the same time as Mulch. And she had certainly not been ill then.

"Wait!" Artemis hurried into the house after the dwarf, Butler following close behind. His heavy footfalls echoed throughout the house.

Panting, hands on knees, Artemis stopped in the vast kitchen. _Five rounds_, he thought. _Three is simply not enough. I must bully Beckett with a lollipop._

Teteph was sitting on one of the leather chairs, legs crossed as she surveyed him in a rather cat-like way.

"You are ready to listen now, Master Fowl?" she said. Butler made to stride over to her but Artemis held up a hand, still gathering his breath.

At last, with enough oxygen in his lungs, he straightened up and sat on a leather chair opposite the dwarf.

"It's common courtesy, wouldn't you think," he said, steepling his fingers and gazing over them as he had always done when speaking with others, "to ask for permission before entering another's house?" He had a thorn there, of course. Fairies could not enter a human dwelling lest they lose their magic, all of the People knew that.

Realising that he probably looked rather nefarious, Artemis placed his hands on his lap instead. _I've gone legitimate_, he reminded himself. _In ways. And so I should look it._

Teteph steepled her own stubby fingers which may or may not have been in mockery.

"I have chosen to lose my magic, Master Fowl," she said. "Do not prick me from behind."

Artemis sighed lightly. "Very well. I am listening – englighten me."

Teteph leaned forwards, a strange glow in her emerald eyes.

"I have an idea," she said. "A most beautiful idea. If you will listen, Master Fowl.

I wish for the People and humans to live together, in harmony."

* * *

**Note: Teteph is pronounced 'Taytay'. Uh, I don't know…I just had to put in the redundant silent 'ph'. Also, I agonised over what to call the ultra high-tech device Foaly uses, and very reluctantly kept it as 'laptop'. I mean, I guess I could call it the UHT device, which sounds somewhat smart and cool…but I'm stuck if someone asks me what it stands for ;_;.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This is a late update, but I've got school exams coming up so I won't be able to update as frequently as I used to…enjoy!**

* * *

At first, the dwarf had resisted. Artemis knew that she would. But he also knew – naturally – that whatever the cost, it would be paid. To use a modern, civilised word…a _fee_, you could call it. And one did not simply _not _pay the fee.

Teteph thought it over, but both sides knew that there was nothing to think over. She nodded at last, realising that stalling for time would aid neither party.

"Done," she proclaimed. "But be warned – you cannot change your mind now. Otherwise I may be encouraged to change my own."

Artemis almost smiled.

"We both know that that's highly unlikely, if not impossible," he said. "But let us allow that to pass." He leaned back in his chair, the slight creak of leather the only sound in the room. "How will you seal this deal?"

Teteph drew out a card and carefully, if not hesitantly, wrote Artemis's wish on the tough card. She then slid it across the smooth table, stopped just short of the boy's slim fingers by a massive palm. Butler kept his hand over the card as he alternately glared at the dwarf and looked warningly at his employer.

"Artemis," he said, his deep voice reverberating around the room. "Are you sure you want to do this? You don't know what the dwarf wants you to do."

"Even we do not know what we want Master Fowl to do," said Teteph serenely, looking at the huge man unflinchingly. "That is another reason we need him. We need his brain power."

Artemis ignored the dwarf, gently pushing aside Butler's hand and taking the card. "I understand, and I understand your concerns, Butler. They are the same as my own, but I do need this gold. And what is life without risk?"

"You're sixteen, Artemis!" exclaimed Butler. "You don't _need _risk at this time of your life."

Artemis bowed his head, almost ashamed, but he slipped the card into his breast pocket.

"At least tell me why you need the gold," said Butler, more quietly.

"Later, old friend."

He had business to attend to.

* * *

"And you're _sure _you don't remember anything?"

Captain Holly Short scowled at the whitewashed ceiling. Oh, how she was coming to loathe this room. And its inhabitants.

"Yes! I remember! It's all coming back to me! It was black. Black. Everything was pitch-black. Because I _don't remember_. And yes, I know that this is contradicting what I just said. But I am _this _close to losing my mind _right now _in this room that I've never even heard about until now –" She had many more unspoken worries in her mind that she couldn't say out loud, especially not to Foaly who was now looking at her with a slightly hurt expression. Immediately, she felt bad. But she couldn't tell him that she was sick, sick with worry for the one Irish boy who had returned home…hopefully.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blown my top like that –"

"No, you should have," grumbled the Commander, Trouble Kelp, who was pacing the room as he had for the past three days. "I was starting to lose my own mind as well. Don't you know when to shut up, Foaly?"

Foaly glared at him. His eyes were red from stress, fear and too many hours staring at the laptop screen. He had actually requested for someone to go to his – wrecked, most probably – office to collect a tub of his special eye cream. Nobody had gone.

"Caballine will be missing me," the centaur muttered, typing furiously into his laptop. "You know, I should have just retired years ago. And kept the passwords to the entire LEP network a secret, just out of spite. This is called a safe, secret room? It doesn't even stock up on cam foil – if it had cam foil, we'd be out of here in two seconds, no problem. And is that _my _fault? Of course not! If anything, it's Kelp's…" Trouble, meanwhile, was muttering things of his own.

"I don't know why that centaur was ever hired. Sure, he invented the iris cam. And the Neturinos. And the throat microphone. And the Moonbelt. And basically everything that the LEP use today. But that doesn't give him any excuse as to not take up his role as head technological advisor and get the damn network system back under control. He made it, for goodness sakes! This place doesn't even have beverages. What? Water? This will be the death of me…"

He glanced over at Holly, who was sitting moodily on the bed.

"What exactly are we waiting for?" she asked at last, when she couldn't take the words any longer. "Why don't we just leave? What's the point of just staying here?"

"We," said Foaly, now fully immersed in his laptop, "Are waiting for me to regain control over the LEP network system so that we can up security, contact the rest of the LEP to let them know of our existence and –"

"Wait," said Holly, raising a hand as a cold feeling washed through her. "No one knows we're here?"

Foaly shrugged. "I suppose not, since this is meant to be a _safe, secret room_. And it quite defeats the purpose of it if everyone knows about it."

"Where's it located?"

Foaly looked at her darkly. "You don't want to know."

Holly began to speak more on the matter, then decided that there were more pressing matters to discuss. "So, we're basically dead to the rest? Killed along with the rest of the Council in the explosion?"

Foaly shook his head. "Wouldn't our bodies be there as well if that was the case?"

"If anything," spoke up Trouble, roused from his sub-conscious muttering, "_We're _the ones who blew up the place, since we were last seen there. In theory."

"Just as I'm the one who did it. In theory," said Holly, sighing glumly and wrapping her arms around her knees, drawn to her chin. Trouble gave her an almost sympathetic look.

Holly looked away and stood up.

"I'm leaving," she said. The other two started, staring at her as if she had gone mad. "I might be controlled again, in which case you two will be in a lot of trouble," she continued. "I can't have that." She had just touched the cool door handle when Foaly spoke.

"And wouldn't it be more dangerous for you and for others if you were to be controlled out in the open?" And, almost slyly, he added, "With Artemis Fowl around, too?"

Holly felt blood rush to her cheek, and she fought hard to bring it back down.

"That –"

"He's right," said Trouble. "If you're so intent on going, we're going too."

"Wait –" Foaly gulped, hugging his laptop. "…What?"

Holly almost smiled then. "Thank you, Trouble. Commander Kelp. And Foaly. I feel –"

"Stay professional, Captain Short," said Trouble, not looking at her in the eye. "I – sentimentalities won't do here. This is only to make sure you don't do anything dangerous. Not because –" He stopped, then made quickly for the door with his cheeks slightly tinged pink. Foaly blinked, then carefully and lovingly covered his laptop with top-of-the-range foam before following the other two fairies to potential freedom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh all right, Karaliza76, a present just for you ^_^. Thanks for the great feedback Nello Orella! I will definitely keep that in mind, and I also made this chapter much longer than usual just to show that! I also tried to describe more, but…I don't know if it worked that well…**

* * *

"We have a problem."

It was one line that no one wanted to hear.

"Out with it, then," said Trouble, rather moodily. "Did the virus in the main communicator develop complications? Did the entire LEP network system get hacked? Or, so help me, did your laptop run out of battery?"

Foaly spared the Commander a withering look.

Holly, Foaly and Trouble were crouching in the countryside in Ireland, miles away from Haven which was undamaged but stirring slightly as rumours of the Council and the crumbling LEP police force began to circle. The LEP headquarters were still intact and the same as always aside from the fact that the conference room's ceiling had caved in mysteriously. And that the head technician's lab had been completely ransacked, as well as with traces that the LEP network system had been attempted to be hacked ("But it's impossible to, because obviously as the genius that I am only I can access those parts," said Foaly proudly). Before leaving, the trio had slipped in, security being beefed up again and sprites already swarming around the conference room as they rebuilt it. The trio had been trying to find the main communicator, or the Alpha Drive as Foaly liked to call it, that controlled all of the LEP communicators. Unfortunately, and most predictably, it had vanished, taking with it control over all of Haven's communication into another's hands. The mass communication lull all throughout Haven just minutes before the detonation did not go unnoticed by the public, but officers were assumed to have made up a story stating otherwise. Hopefully. Otherwise...rise in crime and panic, good to see you.

To make matters worse, Holly discovered that the hideout was located directly beneath the worst toilets in the building. No wonder Foaly would rather have not told her.

"My laptop doesn't run out of battery," Foaly said now. "I mean, it does, but it can run on solar energy, heat energy, kinetic energy, and an abnormally lengthy and powerful battery pack created by, of course, yours truly. So you can expect it to last for oh, I don't know, indefinitely."  
"You didn't have to tell us all that."

Foaly almost started sulking until he remembered that this was an emergency.  
"No, the virus in the Alpha Drive didn't develop complications," he said. "If we had it I could clean the virus instantly, but since I'm barely connected with it via this laptop all I have is a GPS to track it by. And I don't think communication is our greatest priority right now. We have to find who Holly's being controlled by; maybe they'll have the answers to all this chaos. And no, of course the network system didn't get hacked!" Foaly's voice rose reproachfully, and Trouble waved it away impatiently.  
"Then what's the problem?" asked Holly. Foaly sighed and looked at her grimly.  
"The problem is that Artemis Fowl is in trouble," he said. "I just got an email from him. 'I need Holly's help.'"

Holly felt a sick feeling curdle in her stomach.

"Is that all he said?" she asked, hardly daring to breathe lest she miss the answer.  
"Yes."

* * *

Artemis did not need Holly's help. If anyone knew Artemis Fowl the Second, they would know that Artemis Fowl did not ask anyone for help in a way such as 'I need Holly's help'. Maybe 'I am in urgent need of assistance from Captain Short', 'Tell Holly that I require her assistance' or, if he was really short on time, 'Holly's presence required urgently'.

But not 'I need Holly's help'.

Unfortunately, Holly, Foaly and Trouble believed he did need help, because life's events had taken a fairly large turn on them and they barely had time to think for themselves. Which led them to believe the email that Artemis was, indeed, in need of assistance.

In fact, Artemis Fowl was far from helpless. He had the upper hand in the Rebel Group, and he was already forming two plans at once. One for the group and one for himself. One never formed a plan only for another when one was being dishonest. And Artemis had never, from the very moment Teteph Molehunter had stepped into the manor, thought that he would truly allow humans and the People to mingle. It just wasn't how nature worked.

Currently, Artemis was sitting in the very middle of his small, compact study, on the thick Persian carpet, as he meditated. Butler was standing guard outside the room and Teteph had taken up residence in one of the many guest rooms.

Artemis Fowl was thinking very hard, which wasn't very surprising. He had to do this right, do it perfectly, no flaws whatsoever.

_How_, he thought, _will I simultaneously make the Rebel Group believe that I am helping them merge with humans while at the same time prevent them from merging with humans?_

It was, to be fair, fairly confusing. Not to mention difficult. But Artemis Fowl wasn't called a mastermind for nothing.

* * *

"Holly. Holly. Captain Holly Short. Hooll –"

"I'm listening, Foaly," said Holly, trying to keep her temper in check. She had never thought that travelling with a centaur, especially a centaur that was one of her best friends, could be so tiring. And draining.

"No you're not!" said Foaly, pouting his thick bottom lip. "Therefore, I'll repeat what I was just saying. How far away exactly is Fowl manor? I've honestly never been there myself and my hoofs hurt something terrible –"

"I'm the only one who has wings, and the gas has nearly run out anyway. So we'll have to walk, I'm sorry to say. And roughly a couple more hours."

There was a groan from the back.

"Sorry, Commander," Holly called over her shoulder. "You didn't have to come. But I appreciate it, I really, really do."

"Slug juice," he grunted. "I need…slug juice…and a hot mud bath. That's it. A hot mud bath. That's precisely what I'll be having once I'm back home…"

Holly felt such overwhelming gratitude and affection for the two toiling along the darkening streets of Ireland that she found herself smiling uncontrollably despite the current circumstances. Her boots were soaked right through, courtesy of the fast approaching winter, and she was shivering as her LEP uniform had not been designed for such prolonged use outside on the ground.

The streetlights were on in this quiet street, lining the sides of the road and spilling the pavements with yellow light. The trio's shadows stretched behind them as the sun dipped over the horizon, the silence – save for a few late workers driving home – expanding in the growing gloom.

Rest, check direction, eat, walk, rest, check direction, eat, walk. That had been the fairies' regime for the entire day. It had been a long day. Holly hoped it would not be a long night either.

At last, Holly, Foaly and Trouble caught sight of a huge, towering black building in the distance.

"D'Arvit, and I thought I would never in my life be glad to see such a thing," Trouble said. The sight of Fowl Manor gave the trio the strength to cover the last mile or so needed before they reached the impressive, wrought-iron gates.

They were locked.

Trouble nearly swore again, but Holly interrupted him.

"I'll fly over," she said. "I have wings. I'll unlock it from the inside. I'll only be a second."

Trouble started. "No, as Commander I order you not to put yourself in such danger –"

But Holly was infamous for not listening to fairies of higher rank to herself. She wasn't conceited or anything, just had very strong morals. Which never really made commanders like Julius Root or Trouble Kelp happy.

Holly didn't want to go over just because it was the only way. She also wanted to go over because Artemis was that much more nearby, but she wasn't about to say that out loud.

"I'll be right back," she said, and her wings were whirring into life when Trouble grabbed her arm.

"You're not –"

"What's happening?"

Everyone froze. Out of the gloom came Artemis Fowl's face, so pale that it seemed to glow in the night. He stopped before the iron gates, squinting at them. He stared at Holly's arm, Trouble holding it, and his expression cleared.

"I suggest you release Captain Short, Commander," he said, a trace of irritation in his voice. Trouble glared at him but let Holly go. She didn't even notice; she was staring at Artemis, slightly open-mouthed.

"But…why…"

Artemis turned his attention to her.

"Oh, yes. So why are you three here?" He thought that his tone sounded like he didn't want them there, which was exactly the opposite of how he really felt. "I mean, I'm really glad to see you. Really. But –"

"We got your email," said Holly, but now her voice was suspicious. Artemis looked at her blankly.

"Email?"

"Yes," said Holly. "You said…"

"I need Holly's help," finished Foaly. "Good to see you, by the way, Artemis."

Artemis nodded at him distractedly, lost in thought.

"Well, obviously I didn't send that," he said. "So we can safely assume that this is somebody who wants Holly here. We can also safely assume that this somebody is the same person who got control over Holly, made her almost kill Butler and I, took her back to the mysterious nail-shaped plane and make it look as if she blew up the conference room."

Foaly whistled.

"Holly's got some real burden on her shoulders," he said, looking at the female LEP officer sympathetically.

"You don't say," muttered Holly.

"And," continued Artemis in a louder voice as he began to unlock the gate rather hastily, "We can also safely assume that this is therefore a trap and Holly is in danger even as we speak."

And of course Artemis Fowl was right.

* * *

**I made a mistake. I'm so sorry. In the previous chapters I implied that the LEP network system had been hacked, of sorts. Actually, it's nothing of the sort - just the communication system. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Yes, I finally updated! I am finally not too busy. I made this chapter (uncharacteristically) long!**

* * *

The gate wouldn't unlock fast enough. Artemis Fowl's fingers were fumbling with the cold metal that he had locked and unlocked so fluidly before as too many emotions for him to handle coursed through his body. It had been less than five days, and yet he found he had already missed Holly Short so much that his heart had quadrupled upon seeing her shivering in the darkness outside his gate.

"Quickly," he said, and he felt his skin prickle as Holly brushed past him and into the manor. "I give you three permission to come in."

And once they were all in the well-lit corridor, the door wouldn't shut and lock fast enough.

Butler appeared around the corner, his footsteps muffled by the thick Oriental carpet. Not surprisingly, his large hands were weighed down by a weapon; in this case, his conventional Sig Sauer. He stopped when he saw who the visitors were. He seemed surprised that they were actually welcome ones.

"Holly!" the bodyguard cried. He hurried forwards to give the female LEPrecon officer an affectionate, bone-crushing hug before turning to Trouble and Foaly. They surreptitiously took a step back. "Kelp. Foaly," he said, nodding. They nodded back, albeit rather weakly. They had spent the entire day trudging through Ireland to get to the manor, and they really didn't have the strength to converse with a giant human as well. Especially one that looked like one look could topple all of Haven.

"Refreshments, Butler, old friend," said Artemis. Butler didn't pause to ask what the fairies were doing in the manor; he knew Artemis would tell him. So instead, he turned on his heel and went to the kitchen to prepare some cold drinks with _Fish a la Normandie _and maybe even _Mushrooms a la Bordelaise _if he had time.

* * *

It was over dinner that everyone really got together and started to share their stories. Artemis introduced Teteph rather vaguely, saying that the dwarf had aided him in one of his 'expeditions'. Holly felt a little disappointed at this; she had hoped that the boy had completely given up his illegitimate ways.

After much talk and plenty of _Fish a la Normandie_, Artemis finally cleared his throat. Everyone at the oak table fell silent – not that any of them had been talking much to begin with. All of them were dead on their feet.

"I have deduced," said Artemis, laying his fork and knife down delicately on his empty plate, "That Holly's – and our – aggressor is a fairy. Why has nothing happened to the manor yet? Simply because the aggressor cannot enter human dwelling without permission." He paused for effect here, smoothing down nonexistent wrinkles in the suit he had especially worn for this occasion. It wasn't every day that his friends could all get together and dine at his manor. "Therefore," he continued, now talking directly to Holly, "I'm sorry to say this, Captain Short, but I absolutely forbid you from leaving Fowl Manor."

Holly gaped at him. She was at least sixty years older than this boy, and yet here he was ordering her about. Granted, what he said held some truth in it – a lot, in fact – but it still irked her. A lot, in fact.

"I'll do what I want, Artemis –"

"No!"

The dining room was suddenly hushed as everyone stared at Artemis and Holly, who were glaring at each other from across the huge, obscenely expensive table. Artemis realised that he was beginning to lose his temper, which he didn't recall having done in a very long time.

"I mean – no. I order – I suggest you remain in the manor, for your own safety," he said, steepling his fingers to have something to do. Holly dropped her gaze and sighed.

"He's right, Holly," muttered Trouble, his eyelids half closed. "Hate to admit it, but he's right." And then he started to snore.

Artemis tried the smile had had been working on all summer. He did believe he had improved.

"Well, that's settled then. Butler, can you show our friends to their rooms?"

* * *

Holly was both fuming at the prospect of being stuck in a manor indefinitely, helpless as a classic damsel in distress, and feeling exhilaration expand within her as she took in everything that had happened, idly opening the door to her new, temporary room. She was under the same roof as Artemis Fowl. She was…

Holly shook her head, hard, rapping her skull with her knuckles.

"Get your act together, Captain Short," she said, trying to give herself a pep talk. But she couldn't get her act together. She was as happy as a dwarf child with his first mouthful of true, undigested clay.

All thought, however, vanished as soon as she saw the room she was to be staying in.

Artemis himself had directed her to this guest bedroom, but he had not gone all the way. Suddenly appearing somewhat embarrassed, he had pointed to the door. Mumbling things under his breath, he had turned and hurried off to his study.

The bedroom was beautiful.

* * *

Frustration welled up in Artemis's chest. He was lying in bed before midnight for once, staring angrily at the ceiling. He wasn't happy because he now knew that he didn't have as much of an upper hand over Teteph Molehunter as he had originally thought; he had spotted tiny bugs all around the manor, and the meddling dwarf appeared everywhere he went. It was impossible for him to tell anyone about his deal and counter-deal with Teteph – if he told his friends about the surface deal he had with the dwarf, they would surely be disgusted with him. Especially Holly. And if he told them that he wasn't really planning to go along with Teteph's plan, the dwarf would probably hear about it and he wouldn't get his gold. He was stuck, and he loathed being stuck. Artemis Fowl did not get stuck. Especially not by a dwarf.

That was when he heard a knock on his door. It was a soft, barely audible knock, but Artemis had sharp ears and heard it instantly. Sitting up, hardly daring to hope, he said, "Come in."

He felt embarrassed to be disappointed when it wasn't Holly who entered but Teteph herself. Her serious face was now a rigid, determined stone.

"A talk with you, Master Fowl."

* * *

Holly couldn't sleep. The bedroom was absolutely beautiful – a huge chandelier hung from the ceiling, dripping crystals, a long brass mirror took up nearly half of one of the walls and the bed was such a gigantic thing surrounded by lilac drapes that it looked like it would swallow her up if she was a kilo over. In other words, it was one of the most absolutely comfortable places she could ever have dreamed of sleeping in.

But she still couldn't sleep.

Holly got to her feet and began pacing. She didn't usually do this – in fact, she didn't think she ever had, really – but so much was on her mind, so much was bothering her. She didn't like the fact that someone could get into her mind. She didn't like that the person in question almost made her kill her friends.

Holly looked blearily down at the communicator strapped to her wrist. With the Alpha Drive stolen, there was no real chance of communication ever getting under the LEP's control again; she still wore the tiny computer, though, because the familiar weight somehow made her feel better, more at home. She tapped the screen now, thoughtfully, her gaze drifting to the door. It was a little while before she realised that she could hear something.

She walked over to the door and opened it, the voice washing over her more clearly now. Across the huge corridor she could see a squat figure standing at the open door of a room. Squinting in the gloom, Holly saw that it was the dwarf…what was her name? Teteph. Teteph Molehunter. She didn't like her – it was most unprofessional, but the LEP officer couldn't deny that.

The voice had been hers, then. Holly felt as if something sinister was going on, one of those gut feelings that scream that something is completely wrong, and it was made more so by who spoke next, jolting her.

"Alright then, come on in."

Artemis Fowl. Teteph was visiting Artemis Fowl at night.

The door did not swing completely shut, and Holly crept forwards to listen to what was going on. For some reason, her heart was beating very, very fast. Almost as if something bad was about to happen.

* * *

"This will be but a short visit," said Teteph. Artemis Fowl exhaled deeply and fell back onto his bed, arms behind his head, most uncharacteristic. Then again, many things were uncharacteristic nowadays.

He stared up at the ceiling, deeply disinterested in what the dwarf had to say. He was sick of her. Mulch was one thing, but Teteph – she couldn't even tell jokes, no matter how uncouth. Even Butler joked sometimes, even if his humour was generally poor. He found him trying to finally lift a pair of ten kilogram weights _funny_. There was nothing _funny _about feeling as if ones arms were about to be wrenched off.

"I must know, very soon, what your plan is. Otherwise, we cannot continue. And the leader is becoming restless. The entire Rebel Group is becoming restless. We wonder if you are simply playing with us. We wish for the People to integrate with humans sooner rather than later."

Artemis looked at her from the corner of his eye. "I will tell you when I am completely sure of what to do," he said. "Do you people not have patience?"

Teteph clearly shot him a most frustrated look, even if Artemis wasn't looking at her properly.

"We promised you much gold, Master Fowl," she said at last, turning to leave. "We only expect you to think up the plans."

"Close the door as you go," said Artemis.

* * *

Holly felt as if her stomach had suddenly become empty. Numbly, she rolled across the wall she was leaning on into an alcove as Teteph passed, obviously fuming. But Holly barely registered her.

How could he? How could he, really? And she had begun to think, to really think, that he had changed his ways.

Unable to take it much more, Holly knocked rapidly on the door, her head still thickly clouded. With an irritated "come in" she entered, the door clicking shut behind her, and as her eyes fell on Artemis, who had sat up in shock, she felt a mixture of emotions. Pain, unbelieving, betrayal and anger…a lot of anger.

"I can't believe you," she said at last, her mind finally cleared. She was trying so hard to keep her anger in check now, but her entire frame was shaking – soon she would explode.

Artemis stared at her.

"What – wait. Holly –"

"I can't believe you!" repeated Holly, throwing her arms into the air. Artemis felt glad for his soundproof bedroom – the racket would surely rouse the others and cause a huge commotion. "Just when I was beginning to think that you were a decent human being – that we could be friends – that – that – I feel disgusted that I could _ever _had such feelings –"

Artemis was standing now. He was tall, much taller than when he had been twelve. When he had been heartless. He walked over to Holly, who backed away from him.

"No, you stop. Don't come any closer," she nearly spat. "I thought – how could you? Were you really about to sell out the People – me – Foaly – Trouble – just for _gold_? Is that really all it comes down to, after all this time?"

Artemis grabbed Holly's wrist. Holly felt a bolt of shock – she hadn't known he was so strong.

"Stop," he said. "Holly. You heard me and Teteph?" Holly summoned up the worst look she could give him. Artemis groaned, and with his other hand rubbed his face. "Holly, I – you've misunderstood the situation. I –"

"I didn't misunderstand anything," said Holly, wrenching her wrist away, but Artemis grasped it again.

"No, I think you did." There was a hint of desperation in his blue eyes. "Please. Holly. Just listen to me."

And Holly didn't know why, but she listened.


	10. Chapter 10

**I've been calling 'Police Plaza' 'LEP Headquarters'. Oh well!**

* * *

Artemis began to speak until he realised he was still holding Holly's wrist. He let go instantly and sat back on his bed. Holly thought he turned red, but he looked away before she could make sure.

"Well," he said. He looked around - he was pretty certain that he had gotten rid of all the bugs in his room, but Teteph was a devious creature. And he wouldn't put it past her to have somehow slipped some more in ten minutes ago when she visited. He shrugged to himself - it couldn't really be helped at the moment either way. He was about to lose one of his closest friends.  
"Teteph," he began, trying not to look Holly too long in the eye – it stopped his concentration, "came to me some time ago wishing to, as I assume you overheard, integrate the People with humans. Her Rebel Group - rebelling against the ways of the People to keep silent from humans – had heard of me, I assume. The human mastermind who had managed to learn everything about the People and kidnapped one of the LEP's finest officers. One of the members, Teteph, approached me to ask for my help in integrating. It had to be me, of course, because I am, if you will, the bridge between two worlds, thus I am the one who may be able to safely merge humans and fairies. Of course, it also helps that I'm a genius."  
Holly wondered if he was actually showing off at this crucial moment.  
"So, let me guess," she said. "You've hatched some nefarious plot where you're only pretending to help, because, of course, you would never give us away. I think."  
Artemis looked pained. "Why must you have so little trust in me? Of course I would never give my friends away."  
Holly's shoulders visibly relaxed, but her eyes remained sharp and alert. "And then?"

Artemis sighed. "And then I agreed. I knew, of course, that it was the safest option. The Rebel Group could possibly find someone else, but they probably wouldn't be as smart as me. Which is dangerous in such a thin-iced area. Metaphorically speaking, of course."

"The _mesmer_ should be sufficient, shouldn't it?" said Holly. Artemis shrugged, a casual gesture he had found himself indulging in recently.

"Perhaps," he said, "but as I said, it would be best to have someone in control of their own thoughts for something as fragile as this, and preferably a genius. Not being too picky. As well as this, the group may well have lost their magic, either in defiance or for repeatedly defying the People's laws. Teteph has no magic. Of course, in the worst case scenario the Rebel Group will attempt to integrate without the – essential, might I add – help of a human such as myself. Which would, I assure you, lead to extremely _bad_ results. They don't know the first thing about humans; it's _caviar_, a fish roe delicacy from the Caspian Sea, not some foul rotting fish."

Holly couldn't help but smile at this, but immediately became sober as she remembered something.

"You still haven't told me what any of this has to do with gold."

At this, Artemis had the grace to look embarrassed.

"That, Holly, is...to renovate the manor. It's becoming awfully drab, even if Mother and Father don't say anything."

"Speaking of which," said Holly. "Where _is_ your family? Surely they didn't leave you here alone?"

"Father has a conference in Singapore, and decided to take the entire family for a nice holiday. I wished to stay behind to work on the painful matter of TecH, which has absolutely no place on the market. Obviously I came up with a different excuse to my parents. But now I cannot even turn my mind to it because of all the events thus far."

"I thought you were past leeching gold off fairies," said Holly. "The group can't have had a lot of gold to begin with. What if you're stripping them of all their gold?"

Artemis almost grinned. "And do you honestly care about that, Captain Short?"

Holly thought about it. "No."

* * *

Holly and Artemis were on the floor of Artemis's bedroom, discussing plans, when the door opened unexpectedly. It was Teteph.

"Master Fowl, I have consulted with the leader, who confirms that the required gold can be given –"

Holly barely had time to realise what was going on before she felt Artemis's hand on her back – he pulled her towards him, tilting his head towards her and covering her face with his, the back of his head to the dwarf. They remained in that position as Teteph, as if from very far away, spluttered the last part of her sentence. Holly tried to remain as still as possible, but her heart was beating so hard she was sure the boy could hear it – she was pressed against his chest, his face so close to hers, mismatched eyes pleading her to be silent. It was as if all her senses had been sharpened tenfold; she could feel Artemis's breath on her face, his racing heart against her body, his hand on her back that held her against him –

"I did not know – Master Fowl and the LEP officer – my deepest apologies –" she hurried out of the room, the door thudding shut behind her. Holly found she couldn't keep still any longer – she pushed herself away from Artemis, scrambling to her feet. Artemis rose as well, his cheeks slightly red.

"I – It was necessary, Holly, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable –"

"No," mumbled Holly, feeling more in shock than the time she had been buzzed with two buzz batons simultaneously. She backed away to the door, feeling for the handle. "It – it's alright."

"I had to," said Artemis. He cleared his throat and looked away. "If I didn't make it look as though we were…uh…having an affair, Teteph would have gotten suspicious."

"I said it's alright," said Holly, stepping out into the dimly lit corridor. "Goodnight."

After the door closed behind her, Artemis sunk to the floor with his head in his hands, where he stayed for the remainder of the night.

* * *

Holly lay in her unfamiliar bed that night, picking listlessly at the fluff on the mattress, even less able to fall asleep than an hour ago. She stared up at the chandelier, the memory vivid before her eyes. She brought a hand to her mouth, remembering close to touching lips with Artemis she had been. When she had been in his arms it had felt strangely good, although she knew she shouldn't think like that; she was an elf and Artemis was a human. She wasn't allowed to enjoy anything to do with humans – Mud Men – on any level higher than friendship. _It had been wrong, anyway, _she tried to console herself. _And besides, he clearly didn't feel anything for me back there; he only did that because Teteph was there. You have to be more responsible from now on, Holly. Being around Artemis will only bring grief to you._

Holly threw the fluff at the chandelier, which was floating over her so smugly.

* * *

The next morning, everyone except Butler was seated around the table, having some of the bodyguard's absolutely delicious cooking for breakfast. Holly made a point of sitting beside Trouble, as far from Artemis as possible. He looked at her once or twice, but she kept her eyes either on her plate or on Trouble, and felt irritation twinge in her stomach at Teteph's knowing expression. Foaly was moaning to no one in particular about how much Caballine must be worrying about him, would she be alright, would she have used up all the hoof moisturiser. Teteph was deep in discussion with Butler, who joined them not long into breakfast, about food from different cultures. Trouble turned to Holly, his plate piled high with sausages and fried eggs.

"I could get used to this sort of cooking," he told her. "Butler cooks much better than you, which just comes to show how steeply the People are going downhill. Shouldn't women cook better?" He glanced down at the communicator on Holly's wrist. "You still have that useless thing? I got rid of mine as soon as I knew it malfunctioned. It's no use to us now, since the Alpha Drive is no longer on our hands."  
Teteph, on the other side of the table, perked up.  
"We took the Alpha Drive," she said.

Everyone, even Foaly, stopped talking and stared at her, silence ensuing.  
Trouble, required to break silences such as these as Commander, spoke first. "Who's 'we'?"  
Teteph pursed her lips at him. "That I cannot say, for protection. We might return it –"  
"Yes, please do," said Trouble in a deceptively polite manner.  
"– But we cannot."  
Trouble felt heat rising up his collar and stood up furiously, jabbing a finger at her.  
"How dare you take LEP equipment without permission and refuse to return it! Do you know how much LEP officers rely on those communicators?" As if on an afterthought, he added, "And how long Foaly took to create the whole thing?"  
Teteph just stared at him flatly. "We cannot give it back," she said, "because we believe that it could come in useful for us."  
Trouble glared at her, and then at Artemis. "Do you have some sort of evil plan going on in that head of yours, Fowl?" He demanded. "Keeping such questionable company, I wouldn't be surprised."  
Artemis closed his eyes, counted to ten and opened them again. He had realised something, and felt incredibly stupid for not having thought of it before.  
"Of course not, Commander," he said. "I would like a word with you, Missus Molehunter. My study, if you will."  
Teteph got up, green eyes full of distrust, and followed Artemis out of the room.

* * *

Once they were in the study and the door was closed, Artemis began talking.

"I believe you have done something rather terrible," he said, sitting on his chair and steepling his fingers as he did when he went businesslike. Or intimidating. Teteph raised her eyebrows but did not say anything. "I think your precious Rebel Group stole the Alpha Drive, switched off all communication so that nobody could warn the Council, and then blew up the conference room."  
Teteph did not look surprised or frightened, but merely inclined her head. "It had to be done. To remove order in Haven, the order that asserted separation between humans and the People again and again, would be a most wonderful first step to living together in harmony."  
"At the cost of whoever's lives if they stood in the way, such as the Council's," said Artemis.  
"Whatever it takes," intoned Teteph, as if repeating what had been told to her again and again. Artemis's suspicion grew; she and the Rebel Group must be mad, at least to some degree. "But our deal still stands, yes? And do not tell your friends, as they will not understand as you and I understand."  
"Yes and I know," said Artemis, fingers still steepled as he gazed thoughtfully into the distance. "But for your group to have been in such close proximity to Police Plaza, there must have been a traitor in our – the LEP's – midst."  
"General York. Commander Trouble Kelp was meant to be killed with the rest of the Council, so that York could take his place and feed our ways to the People. But nobody expected your arrival, which ruined – but no matter, because Trouble can be said to be dead and York is currently running Haven just as we planned anyway."  
"And who is this fairy, the one that wanted the Alpha Drive to? I suspect this fairy could be a potential ally in my plans to help your precious group."

"He is an exiled elf and calls himself Bay."

"Bay. I see. Since I am to form a plan for your group, I need the Alpha Drive."

Teteph stiffened. "You must have it while you plan?"  
"Yes," said Artemis, although this wasn't strictly true; he mostly felt uncomfortable with all of Haven's communication in a rebel group's hands. Teteph sighed.

"I will ask the leader."

"And one more thing. Did Bay, when he asked for the Alpha Drive, have transport? Such as, in the air…"

Teteph narrowed her eyes a little, possibly wondering how Artemis knew so much. "Yes. A most peculiar shape. Almost nail-like."


	11. Chapter 11

**Late update! Also, this isn't as long as the last few.**

* * *

The next day the Rebel Group came. And by Rebel Group, not just one or two members, maybe throw in the leader. Rebel Group as in the whole lot, in their dozens of uninvited glory.

Artemis Fowl was in the shower when they arrived. Face upturned towards the hot spray, his eyes were closed as he tried to wash away memories from that one night in his bedroom. A thump on the bathroom door was not enough to rouse the boy from the very depths of his despair and utter, utter hopelessness, where he was metaphorically drowning. He only switched off the tap after the fifth thump, which was surprising considering that the man doing the thumping had to be roughly half the mass of an elephant, even if Artemis was drowning in the depths of his despair and utter hopelessness.  
"What is it, Butler?" he demanded, drying himself and getting dressed quickly. "What happened?"  
"The Rebel Group has come to pay us a visit."  
Artemis froze, one hand on the towel over his head and the other on the door handle. That voice was decidedly feminine, and had not spoken to him since the painful event.  
"I - all right. Thank you, Holly."  
"It would be nice if you came out and sorted things out, Artemis," Butler's voice wafted into the bathroom. "Currently they are outside because we have refused them entry. It would be a good idea to make a reasonably good first impression, so hurry if you can."  
Sighing, Artemis checked his reflection - for what had to be the first time in his life - and opened the door. Must everyone rely on him so much? Sure, he was a genius, but there was also a thing called initiative.  
As Artemis stepped out of the bathroom, Holly couldn't help but stare. Artemis was dressed in a suit as usual, but he looked somehow more vulnerable, more like a teenage boy, as he stood there rubbing his wet black hair with a towel, which showed her for once an Artemis with his hair not combed carefully atop his head. In fact, it was spiking up a fair bit.  
Artemis caught her stare and instantly felt self-conscious, swallowing a strangely dry throat and clutching the towel tighter.  
"I – uh – your hair looks nice," said Holly, trying to excuse her staring.  
"Uh...thank you."  
The tension between the two was so strong that the very air seemed to shimmer like cam foil. Butler wondered what was up with them, then decided that he didn't want to know - for all the romance novels he had read, he found he didn't enjoy being present as a real-life one brewed: especially when it was clearly going so bad. Instead, taking pity on the two who were now staring determinedly in opposite directions, he broke the silence.  
"We should go. We have kept the group long enough, and distracting Foaly and Trouble can only last so long before they see them."  
At this, Artemis became alert. He had not been thinking properly for the last five minutes - how had he failed to realise that Butler was talking so freely about the Rebel Group with Holly around, when in theory the bodyguard shouldn't know that Holly knew everything?  
Knowing the question before it was asked, Butler added, "and Holly and I told each other what we knew about the group." The knowing look in guys eyes told Artemis that he knew about his plan in tricking the Rebel Group, but could not say so out loud with Teteph's bugs all over the house. "We conversed through paper. Primitive to you maybe, but I cannot believe you neglected to think of that."  
Artemis made a sound in the back of his throat as the three walked. "So, what am I going to tell Teteph and the rest of her precious group when they see I didn't keep the matter entirely secret? Even as we speak, this conversation is highly likely to be in the process of recording." He gazed up at the ceiling, almost mockingly, and added, "although why Teteph has such little trust in me I don't know."  
Butler shrugged. "Teteph already knows that I know, seeing as I was present during the deal and all. It would be strange if I didn't. And Holly - well, aside from being a possible asset to your plan as LEP captain, she's also your lover of sorts."  
Artemis, who had been taking a drink out of a bottle, choked. Holly felt blood rush to her face faster than flying sprites. Butler gave them a warning glance, surreptitiously flicking his eyes to the ceiling where those minuscule bugs must be.  
The three reached the front door in what felt like a million years. Artemis motioned Holly back, muttering that her aggressor could be out there, and then proceeded to open the door and step outside with Butler.  
The teenager stared at the group before him. It looked like a cluster of oddities, not as dangerous as he had almost hoped they'd look; but he knew that looks could be deceiving, even fatal. These fairies were mad.  
Artemis did a quick count. There were four dwarves, stout and hairy and extremely unimpressive. Five elves, six sprites, three more dwarves, one pixie. Artemis groaned inwardly; was his enemy to be another pixie? But one of the elves stepped forwards instead, hand outstretched.  
"Ivan, so good to meet you at last, Master Fowl," he said somberly. I introduce the Rebel Group and its members, Pat, Beatrice, Lyle, Ka-,"  
"Yes, very well," said Artemis, not very interested in learning the eighteen odd names. "I think it would be fairly careless of me to allow you all to enter the manor, so you may inhabit the farmhouse behind it."  
The Rebel Group, which had been dreaming of living the life in the sprawling land of the Fowl Estate - the almost only reason the entire group was present - were understandably outraged.  
Amidst cries of "no fair!" "I want to go home!" and "did he say the _farmhouse_?", Artemis added, "all I need is one member, two at most. Not the entire group."  
Ivan looked fairly peeved.  
"We have journeyed far to give the Alpha Drive and gold. We did not expect to live in a farmhouse."  
"I did not expect nineteen fairies, none of whom I can trust," Artemis replied. "Besides, I believe you will be impressed with the state of the farmhouse. It has a skylight."

* * *

Artemis knew what he was doing. The farmhouse was a huge thing, and far too impressive to be believed to be what it really was. The Rebel Group had decided that they were happy enough to live in it, Artemis's prediction truer than they had initially thought. The place had a heated spa that they were allowed to fill with pre-packaged mud they had brought along just in case, for goodness sake. Nothing got better than that.

After being warned by Ivan, the group agreed to remain hidden in the farmhouse until Artemis brought humans and fairies together, out of sight of Trouble and Foaly. Then the gold would be handed over.

Ivan had originally disapproved of Holly's knowledge on the whole thing. However, Teteph convinced him that Holly would find out anyway because she and Artemis were in love ("and besides, is this not an excellent step to integration?").  
Teteph was, apparently, a great romantic and self-proclaimed matchmaker.

* * *

**Because I realise how…err…confusing my wording may have been in this chapter, I'll just make some points clear: Artemis was shocked that Butler wasn't…shocked about Holly's knowledge on the plan, because the boy had thought that **_**Butler **_**had thought that the deal was only known between Artemis, Butler and Teteph. But Butler didn't know the whole story (as in, Artemis wasn't really planning on going through with the deal) but Holly did – she told him what she knew because they're, well, friends. And Artemis and Holly have to sort of act like they're 'lovers' for Artemis to have the Rebel Group's trust (seeing as he told someone else the plan).**

**I may or may not have made the whole thing even more confusing. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I had to do this: an **_**extra **_**long chapter. Thanks so much to this story's reviewers and everyone else who likes this story.**

* * *

Artemis Fowl was the master of deduction. He could figure out whole identities using deduction; and at the moment, with so little information to work his plan on, it was his only friend.

The boy genius sat cross-legged on the floor of his study, thinking. So far, he had come to the conclusion using both deduction and extensive fairy research that Bay, the exiled fairy – who had to be the one behind Holly's brainwashing – wasn't using an alien form of magic: it was simply a mutated form of the basic fairy magic the _mesmer_. Evidently, it was called the _mesmera_ and was both incredibly powerful and nearly useless to whoever could use it. It was, as Foaly had explained, a mutation, a new characteristic added to the gene pool that allowed the fairy in question to control one individual absolutely but at the cost of almost too much magic for it to be worth it. Anyone could be controlled solely using the voice, with no eye contact required, but the drawback was that if anyone else heard the commands the magic would be doubled, tripled, quadrupled – depending on how many ears the magic affected. The fairy behind the _mesmera _would find their magic sucked dry if they weren't careful. There were only three fairies known in history to have had the _mesmera_.

"That's the only explanation," Foaly had said. "It makes sense. Exiled fairies can no longer recharge their magic; they're stuck with what they have left. I'd make a guess that Bay only had enough for, say, one fairy to place under the _mesmera_. That's the only real good thing I can see about the _mesmera_; once you've been under it, you can be put under it again at the cost of no magic. That's why Bay wanted Holly so bad; maybe he didn't have enough magic to control anyone else. But _why _he needed a fairy at all is strange."

Artemis mulled over this now, taking notes every now and again. Indeed, why _did _Bane need a fairy?

"Or, to be more precise," he said, talking to himself, "Why a LEPrecon officer?" One could almost hear the boy's brain working furiously. At last, he sat up straight with a triumphant air. "Of course! The Alpha Drive! That's the key to all of this."

He glanced behind him at his desk, where a slim, telephone-like gadget sat. It was roughly the size of a cereal box, albeit a cereal box with an input and a large button reading TRANSMIT TO ALL DEVICES in the centre. Suddenly, he felt incredibly stupid. It was all so obvious now. His head clearing, Artemis stood up. There were several things he needed in order for his carefully forming plan to work. First, he needed an old friend. Second, he needed two friends who currently resided under the same roof as himself.

* * *

"I expect Caballine is missing you."

Foaly, who had been sulking in one of the many guest rooms with his laptop sitting companionably by his side, looked at Artemis rather suspiciously.

"Yes, she would be," he agreed. "I should just go back. It's not as if those guys are out to get _me_, right?"

Artemis nodded. "You're right. I would advise you to go, if only to see how she's doing, but I have a favour to ask of you as well."

Foaly clip-clopped over to Artemis, laptop now under his arm. When Artemis Fowl the Second asked for a favour, you could be sure it wasn't going to be a request to buy an ice cream on the way.

"I need time stop towers," said Artemis, getting straight to the point. Foaly's mouth dropped open almost comically.

"That's – that's illegal!" he exclaimed, backing away and tripping over his hooves. "I – no, no, no. I can't do that. As tight as we are, Artemis, I can't do that."

Artemis sighed lightly. "Do you trust me?"

"No," said Foaly immediately. Artemis almost scowled.

"Then trust me now," he said. "I need those towers, and I need them soon."

Foaly's thick lips twisted as he considered. "Do I get a handsome reward for doing this?" he asked.

"You get my appreciation," said Artemis, without batting an eyelash. This time it was Foaly's turn to scowl.  
"I told you, it's illegal!"

"And the Council is dead," said Artemis. "That reminds me. Caballine may as well be, too, if you don't trust me."

Foaly gaped at the boy. "How – what – did you just threaten me? Caballine?"

"No. I'm telling you that I'm trying to save you all. Using those towers."

Foaly closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. Several seconds passed before he opened them again. "When this is investigated, you stole them," he said at last.

Artemis almost grinned.

* * *

Artemis Fowl took a deep breath, staring at the closed door in an unfocused sort of way. Raising a hand slowly, he knocked. When there was an unintelligible, mumbling reply, he opened the door and went into the guest bedroom.

Captain Holly Short was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring idly out the window. Artemis glanced at it; the bedroom had a nice view, something he knew due to the fact that it had been a reason he had allocated it to Holly. Somehow, though, he knew the elf wasn't paying attention to the view any more than Artemis had been to the door.

"Hello, Holly," he said, and winced a little at how _intimate _saying her name sounded. Holly jumped, leaping to her feet; possibly forgetting that she was on a bed, her balance wavered on the wobbly, jelly-like surface and she landed on her backside.

"Uh…good afternoon, Artemis," she said, trying to assume the professional officer voice she exclusively saved for awkward situations such as this one. The professionalism was lost, however, possibly due to the fact that she had just fallen in the stupidest way manageable. "What brings you here?"

Artemis gave her a look that Holly couldn't work out for a moment, flicking his eyes to the ceiling and back, but then it clicked.

"I visit you in your room all the time, what's so wrong about now?" the boy asked, the implication making both of them redden a bit. Holly groaned quietly.

"Oh, nothing, Arte – ah – Arty," she said. The strain between them was becoming unbearable; it was like a buzzing in Artemis's ears, filling his brain and making him wish for nothing more but to run far, far away from where he was now. _Only an idiot would believe we were together_, he thought. He detachedly hoped that the members of the Rebel Group were idiots, which they seemed to be so far.

"I just wanted to tell you that since the Alpha Drive is in our hands – err, for the plan, of course – you can use your communicator now. For my plan to work I need you to contact an old friend of ours; I haven't enabled complete Lower Elements communication again on the Alpha Drive because of a trouble that has arisen." He cleared his throat, which had gone strangely dry while he looked at Holly. He couldn't tell her about how if he enabled complete communication, whoever's communicator Bay had could be used to take control of Holly again; not with the Rebel Group always listening, and he couldn't trust them with any information.

Of course, Artemis could simply ask Holly to give him her communicator and thus make sure she was safe, but if the time ever came when he would have to talk to her it would be impossible if there was no way to reach her. Acquiring a communicator wasn't too difficult – it was trying to get through to someone who didn't have a communicator that was rather impossible. Besides, Bay could have enough magic to control someone else via communicators instead if it was enabled, which was one thing he didn't want.

"But I'll fill you in on that later." He hoped that _later _meant in a place that involved at least two other people to ensure that the awkwardness between them didn't become as intense as to render them unable to communicate. Which was almost the case now.

"I would like you to contact him – I can configure the Alpha Drive to only connect with him – and ask him to visit us here in the manor. I have come to realise that he will play a large part in my plan to…ah…bring humans and the People together. Without him, the plan cannot take place." He said this last part for the benefit of any Rebel Group members who may be listening.

"Who is this friend…Arty?" asked Holly, curious despite her also extremely strong need to leave the room – and quickly.

"N°1," said Artemis. Holly stared at him as if he had gone crazy. There was surely only one reason he would need the demon warlock; and she had quite a good idea of what that may be.

"That's too dangerous," she snapped, sitting up on the bed. "Arty."

Artemis sighed, pulling lightly at a loose thread on the cuff of his suit. "It can't be helped, Holly," he said. "Will you do it? You're the only one here who has a communicator, after all. Trouble threw his away long ago, from what I remember."

Holly was silent for a while. Kicking her legs idly and watching them swing back and forth, she thought it over. At last, she shrugged and looked up.

"Whatever you wish, Arty," she said, but there was something strained in her voice. "Are you sure you don't want me to…accompany you when discussing your plans with N°1?"

"I'm quite alright, thank you." The strained formality between them made Artemis want to scream. He absolutely loathed having to act this way with the one person he cared on a rather…romantic level about. "Could you turn the scan on?"

Holly obliged, deftly tapping at her communicator's screen. "It's scanning."

Artemis pressed a small, rectangular button near the bottom of the Alpha Drive. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Foaly's floated out.

"Please select an option: One-to-one speaking, group speaking or email."

"One-to-one speaking," said Artemis.

"Please connect a communicator to the Alpha Drive to proceed."

He motioned with his free hand for the communicator, and Holly handed it over. Her wrist felt strangely naked without the slim, watch-like gadget. Artemis connected the communicator to the Alpha Drive via the input and waited.

"Scanning…Verified. Holly Short, Captain of the Lower Elements Police force. Who would you like to speak to one-to-one? If the recipient has been communicated with previously, I can simply scan your log. Otherwise, please provide the recipient's communication ID."

Artemis resisted rolling his eyes. Even in gadget form, Foaly was too talkative. "N°1, demon warlock."

"Scanning…connected."

"Holly?" This new voice was completely different to the electronic Foaly, full of life; lively and a shocking contrast to the atmosphere of Holly's room. "Is that you? I thought communications were all down! It's so good to hear from you again. How _are _you?"

"Uh…" Artemis felt rather embarrassed as he said, "Actually, it's Artemis Fowl the Second."

There was a great _ohhh _from the other end.

"Artemis! _So _good to hear from you again! How are _you_? And…and…why do you have Holly's communicator?"

"I'm good, and communications _are _down. I'm talking to you one-to-one using the Alpha Drive. Don't ask any questions: it'll take too long to answer everything. However, I have a very big favour to ask of you."

"A favour! From Artemis!" N°1 sounded thrilled. "This has _got _to be exciting! You won't _believe _how bored I've been, wandering around everywhere with no one to say hi to! I mean, Paris is fun and everything, sort of, but you know. I miss you guys. I miss all of my friends! Maybe I should cut my world travelling right here."

"I would advise you to," said Artemis. "I apologise if I sound selfish, but I really need you here at Fowl Manor. _Really _need you here. I cannot emphasise that enough."

"Of course I'll come!" said N°1. "What's the favour, then?"

Artemis wondered how best to word it. "It's nothing much," he said. "It'll only take five seconds of your time, literally. I can tell you when you get here." He hoped the hint was obvious enough. Clearly it was, judging by the great wave of static that followed shortly after this statement as the warlock gasped.

"Artemis! Surely you don't mean –"

"Lemurs," said Artemis hastily, looking around. "I – uh – you remember lemurs, right? The person who was trying to catch one that one time. It's like that sort of connotation." He sincerely hoped he didn't have to reword _that sort of connotation_ as _someone bad is involved in this, i.e. a rebel group that wants to bring humans and the People together and will ultimately fail unless I do something, and that something involves you._

He must have gotten at least some part of his message across, because there was another _ohhh_. After a few seconds of silence N°1 spoke again.

"I'll be right over, then," he said cheerfully. "Can you expect me in a day or two?"

Artemis felt relief settle in his stomach. "Yes. Yes. Definitely." He paused, looking over his shoulder at where Holly was still sitting, unmoving. "Would you like to…speak to Holly?"

N°1 gasped with pleasant surprise. "Holly's _there_? Yes, of course!"

Holly smiled at Artemis, who in turn felt as though his heart had wedged itself into his throat.

"Thank you, Arty," she said.

* * *

Everything was in order. Artemis ate dinner (braised pork loin with a side dish of baked potatoes, possibly the most delicious thing in the world after caviar) with a light heart, even managing to smirk a little at Teteph's meaningful smile. The dwarf sat opposite Artemis and Holly, who were sitting side by side to further play their roles as lovers. However, neither was willing enough to do any more than that. Foaly hadn't joined for dinner; he was cleaning himself, getting ready for the trip back home. Commander Trouble Kelp ate silently beside Butler.

"You know, Master Fowl," said Teteph, breaking the silence and raising a fork knowingly, "You needn't be ashamed. It is something to be proud of." Her green eyes flickered between Artemis and Holly meaningfully, both of whom felt mortified. Trouble looked at them in confusion, but Butler coughed loudly to try and cover a smile.

"I, uh, alright," said Artemis. "No need to take it too far, Missus Molehunter. These things…take time."

Teteph scowled at him.

Ten minutes passed in near silence, broken only by the occasional "pass that" and "mmm". Once Trouble finished, he set down his cutlery and stood up.

"I have decided to leave for Haven with Foaly tomorrow morning," he said, straightening his collar. "I simply cannot stay here any longer – I feel as if I am failing in my duties as Commander, even if there is something dangerous out there."

Artemis nodded. "Perhaps that is for the best," he agreed. "Haven most certainly needs you, especially with the Council dead. Someone needs to be Chairman."

"There is already a new Chairman," interjected Teteph sharply, glaring at Artemis pointedly. Artemis exhaled out of his nose loudly.

"General York is only a temporary figure," he said. Trouble's face flooded with colour at this, and his jaw fell open.

"York? General _York_? _He's _filling in for the Chairman?" He began to pace the spacious dining room, muttering to himself. "That – that – preposterous! He's all muscle and no brain! Yes, now I really _must _return."

Teteph's expression had turned dangerously dark. "I would advise you against that, Commander," she said. "If you were to leave, what would be of the – ah – danger outside? Lurking, it is, waiting for its next victim."

Trouble barely paid her any attention. Still muttering to himself, he headed up the stairs to his room.

"I understand your concerns," said Artemis abruptly, addressing Teteph. "I have been wrong to encourage him." He straightened up. "I will attempt to persuade the Commander to change his mind."

Teteph inclined her head, and Artemis hurried after Trouble.

As he went, Artemis thought. He knew that he couldn't let Teteph think that the Commander was leaving to take the Chairman's place. If he did that, the Rebel Group would most likely make sure that he never reached Haven. They needed to have York secured as Chairman to push their idealistic dreams onto the People. He would have to somehow tell Trouble of the dangers secretly, and make it look as though the Commander had changed his mind and decided to remain in the manor. He would depart anyway, but the Rebel Group would only find out once it was too late.

Artemis intercepted Trouble on the third landing.

"Commander, I have to talk to you," he said. He had realised something: if Trouble was the Commander of the LEP, he should be well versed in the area of military. And if he knew military, he knew Morse code – just a little something Artemis had been interested in a few years back.

"What is it?" grumbled Trouble, evidently still preoccupied with the unbelievable idea of General York as Chairman. This wasn't good: Artemis needed his full attention.

"Trouble, I don't think it would be a very good idea if you left with Foaly," he said, blinking rapidly. He was hoping that Trouble's attention would be drawn to his eyes, and he felt elated when he succeeded. Slowly, studiously, he began to blink out a message. "We – that is to say, Teteph and I – worry for your safety out there."

_We are being watched._

"Oh, really?" said Trouble, his expression hardening as he looked at Artemis. "And why do you think that?"

"Don't you remember what happened to the Council? Everyone was killed."

_Teteph is part of a Rebel Group_.

Trouble's eyes widened a fraction.

"But you're allowing Foaly to leave. I'm sure he holds much more importance, seeing as he exclusively holds access to the entire LEP system."

_Pretend to stay. But leave. _

"My aircraft only has enough seats for one person. It's clear that Foaly is very much needed in Haven for the exact reason you gave."

_The day I give the signal –_

"I suppose…"

_Have an aircraft ready. For the group_.

"I suppose I should stay."

_A gift from me_.


	13. Chapter 13

**I did not make up the Morse Code thing. It was taken from Jeremiah Denton, a prisoner of war, who was basically a genius in what he did with Morse Code. Obviously what Artemis Fowl did was highly unrealistic, but...who cares.**

* * *

N°1 arrived the very next day, much to the shock of the Rebel Group camping out in the farmhouse. The little warlock seemed to have materialised out of thin air in front of the small building (the group was just drunk). He looked at the faces pressed against the window, staring in confusion at him, and N°1 returned the baffled stare before courtesy kicked in. Waggling stubby fingers at them, still wearing his _I Love Paris_ t-shirt, he began to trudge his way to the manor. He could have used magic to end up straight at the foot of the door, or even make the Dwelling Law nonexistent and simply go straight into the manor, but good grace told him that flying over the locked gate was enough rudeness for the day.  
He pushed the buzzer and waited, admiring the titanium front door. It was useless to him, of course, but he couldn't help but feel impressed at all the sorts of enemies Artemis must have to need to invest in a door constructed out of _titanium_.  
The door was opened within seconds by Butler, who stared at N°1 with barely concealed shock.  
"Good morning, Butler!" said N°1 delightedly. He briefly considered hugging the giant, but then decided against it. Who knew what sorts of weapons the bodyguard kept under his jacket, which would make hugging _so_ uncomfortable.  
Butler recovered quickly from his initial shock.  
"Hello, N°1," he said affectionately, a pleasant smile creasing his otherwise terrifying-looking face. "We weren't expecting you for another two days, at least."  
"I simply couldn't enjoy my holiday," said N°1 sadly. "I couldn't help but feel awfully homesick! But," he added, his expression brightening again, "I'm here now! Surrounded by friends again...so much fun! Do say, where's Holly? I've missed her so much! And how about Artemis? I miss his wise-cracking jokes."  
_Artemis, wise-cracking_? Butler thought. This was strangely hilarious. "They're both in the house," he said. He beckoned for the warlock to come in, looked around, and added, "And they're being quite shy about this, but they're lovers now."  
N°1 was astonished. "_Lovers_? Surely you don't mean - like _dating_? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Cuddling? Holding hands? Kissing before a glowing sunset? _That_ sort of thing? That's so amazing!" He was positively jumping about in excitement now, his footsteps causing quite a bit of sound in the corridor.  
"Well, maybe not the last one. Or three. But they're certainly lovers now. But remember what I said; they're very shy about it! So pretend not to know, if you can. And certainly don't pressure them into doing anything."  
N°1 exaggeratedly placed a finger to his lips, giving the bodyguard a cheeky wink. "I wouldn't dream of it," he said, the childlike excitement in his voice barely concealed.

* * *

Holly had flown out of her room as soon as she heard the racket down at the entrance to the manor. She knew what racket it was; it was _N°1_ racket. And besides, she could hear his voice as he chattered all the way down the corridor. As soon as she turned the fifty millionth corner, following his excited garbled words, she saw the short warlock and immediately flung herself into his arms.  
"N°1!" she cried, squeezing the warlock tightly as an almost forgotten emotion called happiness coursed through her after what felt like weeks, and probably was. "I missed you so much!"  
N°1 did not seem perturbed that he was being half-crushed to death; indeed, he was silently creating a magical force around himself to prevent his body from being tragically suffocated or crushed. "I missed you too Holly, so so much!" he replied happily. He extracted himself from her gently and was a little startled to see that Holly's eyes were glistening. "Oh dear, was it the onion I peeled at dawn?" he said anxiously. "I was _sure_ I washed up properly."  
Holly smiled at him lovingly. "No, I'm just feeling emotional," she said. "I've been through so much. _We've_ been through so much."  
"Women."  
Artemis strode down the corridor, wearing a suit as always. He extended a hand to the warlock formally, but was instead treated to a huge hug.  
"Artemis! I've missed you so much!" N°1 cried delightedly. He released the surprised boy and looked expectantly between him and Holly, but was disappointed that they didn't even seem to be noticing each other. He glanced curiously at Butler, who gave a little shrug before averting his eyes.  
"When will you be ready, N°1?" Artemis asked abruptly, breaking the awkward silence that followed.  
"Whenever, but tonight would be best. Have dinner, watch a movie altogether...you know, be like one big happy family before having to work. Oh, and speaking of big." N°1's brow creased. "What's with that strange assortment of fairies in your farmhouse, Artemis?"  
Artemis scowled at the door. The Rebel Group was meant to stay hidden! "Guests, of sorts," he said. "Promise to not go to them. It's very...um...private matters."  
N°1 was strangely understanding, as if he too kept guests in the farmhouse for personal reasons. "No, no, that's alright then. Besides, I can hardly lecture you on guest etiquette; I once kept three of my own in the basement a while ago. Of course, I didn't do that on purpose. I simply lost track of how many guests I had had initially, and forgot that I had directed some to my excellent wine collection. Not that I drink, of course. Bad for my magic."  
And, with conversation fuelled by N°1's incessant chatter, they went to the dining room to have dinner.

* * *

Dinner should have been a quiet affair. With Foaly having departed at dawn - as well as Commander Kelp, who had borrowed Holly's wings and who Teteph now believed had a very, very, very contagious and exceptionally bad disease called _Scintimflu_ - there should only have been Artemis, Butler, Holly and Teteph (and the Rebel Group who resided in the manor's garden, but they could hardly make conversation with such a distance), and even with one more person the place shouldn't become so chatty and lively, but N°1 was both of these things and made it happen. Teteph grew to like him a great deal – he was the epitome of happiness even when around humans – if not find him a little annoying.  
"How about we watch a movie?" suggested N°1, once everyone had finished eating - he, himself, had just finished his fourth steak.  
Teteph nodded approvingly. "Movies. They are fantastic, especially those about digesting clay."

Artemis and Butler exchanged bemused looks. "I think you mean documentaries," the boy said. "Those aren't very family-friendly. Tedious, although I personally find them much more fascinating and invigorating for the brain."

Teteph's face transformed from lazily blissful to incredulously scandalised.

"Tedious!" she said, appalled. "The act of digesting clay, might I tell you, is a very ancient honing of skill – an art – and you say…well, should we simply not watch a movie, then?"

Artemis blinked. "I suppose you could link the logic in that way," he said, "But I was simply saying that any movie we plan to watch will not involve the digestion of clay, and to clear up any misunderstandings."

Teteph sat back in her chair, still fuming.

"Well!" said N°1 abruptly, clapping his hands. The empty plates rose into the air and flew to the kitchen, leaving Butler hurrying after them. "We should go watch then. Where is the television, Artemis?"

* * *

A few minutes later, everyone was seated in front of the largest television in Fowl Manor. It was a 90 inch LED flat screen television, built into the cream-coloured wall in the upstairs living room. There was a three-seat leather couch in front of the television, a Victorian armchair off to the left and a two-seat couch to the far right. Butler flicked the lights to the dimmest level, creating a cinema-like atmosphere, before sitting in the armchair. It creaked ominously under the bodyguard's weight but held.

Teteph, quick to assess the situation, darted ahead of Artemis and Holly and leapt into the three-seat couch, taking up two seats with her short legs outstretched. The warlock, grinning mischievously, teleported himself to the last seat, next to the remaining couch. He patted it invitingly.

"Please," he said. Artemis, his eyes roving the room with growing despair, turned to Holly. She looked just as horrified as he felt.

"You sit there, I'll go on the floor," he said.

"No, no! It's unhealthy to sit on the carpet, don't you know?" said N°1. "Nasty dust-mites and…um…other biting bugs." He decided he had to learn more statistics to make his excuses more believable. "There's plenty of room on that couch."

Holly resignedly sat down, scooting over to the far right. Artemis, shaking his head, went over to the DVD cabinet and pulled out five DVDs.

"What do you want to watch?" he asked. "Only Butler and Juliet ever watched movies here, so I don't know which ones are good."

"Gone with the Wind is quite good," said Butler. When everyone turned to stare at him, he hastily added, "Juliet made me watch it. And it got 96% critic ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. Five stars."

Artemis decided to break the awkward silence to save his friend. He raised a DVD. "How about Breaking Dawn, Part One?" He looked at the case.

"You really don't know anything about movies," said Holly, snorting with laughter. She suddenly began to feel much more comfortable, seeing Artemis so oblivious for once. She realised she found it endearing.

"I mean, uh…" Artemis stared at the cover, where two characters were embracing in what seemed to be a sappy romantic movie, the female was staring hungrily at the male's chest. He put it down. "Never mind."

"Ooh!" exclaimed N°1. He pointed with a stubby finger. "That. That looks _fun_."

Artemis picked up the DVD the warlock was indicating. "_Jurassic Park_," he said. He looked around. "Who wants to watch this?"

There was a murmur of approval; dinosaurs were more or less a genderless topic when it came to films.

Artemis slipped the DVD in and retreated to the couch as the film began to play. However, before he got to sit down, the doorbell rang. Butler got to his feet.

"I'll get it," he said.

"No, I will," said Artemis. "Sit down, watch the movie."

He hurried off down the corridor to the front door. Glancing at the screen beside the door that showed the visitor via a camera situated outside, he was not surprised to see Foaly. He opened the door and beckoned the centaur inside.

"No, no, I've got to get going again," said Foaly. He was carrying four giant batteries, each as long as Artemis's arm. "I've got to get home before dinner – Caballine's making spaghetti bolognese." He pushed the batteries at Artemis, who fumbled to hold them all. "There you go. Don't expect any more favours from me for a while – I'll get in a lot of trouble if the Council finds out about this."

"The Council's dead," said Artemis. Foaly shook his head.

"Well, yes. Couldn't you at least try to sound more sympathetic? But Kelp's –"

Artemis slapped his hand against Foaly's mouth, looking around nervously. Foaly pushed it away.

"Sorry," he said, lowering his voice. "Yeah, he told me about the whole…uh…_situation_. That brings me to a question I was going to ask you. Why don't you just get him to arrest them all?"

Artemis looked uncomfortable. "I…err…they promised to give me gold in return," he said. "But don't worry, I've got a plan."

Foaly stared at him, shaking his head. "Still Artemis Fowl the Second, aren't you?" he said. Artemis looked away.

"Anyway, thanks," the boy said. "These are much smaller." He hefted the batteries.

"Technology's improved," said Foaly loftily. "Well, goodbye then, Arty."

Artemis made a face. "Goodbye. And thanks again."

He retreated back into the manor, closing the door firmly. He ran to his study and placed the batteries in his safe before heading back to the living room, where the others were still waiting.

"Advertisement," he said sitting on the couch next to Holly, feeling an immense sense of accomplishment.

After a while, he found himself leaning hard against his side, focusing more on trying not to touch Holly than anything else. It wasn't long before he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Psst. Artemis." Artemis jumped and turned to the vague outline of N°1. The warlock pointed at Holly. "Aren't you two lovers?"

"_What_?" Artemis's voice shattered the still atmosphere, a worker being eaten on-screen by a dinosaur. He sat up, staring at N°1. He lowered his voice. "I mean…what?"

N°1 looked at him innocently. "There's no need to _hide_ it," he said reproachfully. He nudged Artemis's arm. "Go no," he urged. "Do it."

"Do what?"

N°1 leaned so far over the armrest that he was more on the smaller couch than his own, putting his mouth to Artemis's ear. "Do what lovers do. Cuddle!"

Artemis managed to keep his exclamation in this time, but he immediately pushed N°1 away. "No!" he whispered furiously. He glanced at Holly. "No, no."

N°1 smiled widely, flashing his teeth. "Do you want me to _make_ you?" he said, winking. The tips of his fingers sparked with magic. Artemis's eyes widened and he swallowed nervously. Keeping his voice down, he leaned in.

"Don't do this, N°1," he said. "…Please."

He saw a flicker of sympathy pass N°1's eyes, but it was gone as quick as it had come. The warlock raised his hand, dramatically curling his fingers.

"That hand is distracting," came Teteph's voice. "Put it down. A dinosaur is coming."

N°1 pulled a face and lowered it, but pointed his fingers at Artemis and Holly. The last shred of hope that the warlock had a trace of compassion left in him vanished and he reached out, putting his arm around Holly's shoulders. She jumped in surprise and stared at him, before bursting out laughing at his pained expression. As Artemis drew her closer with his eyes trained on N°1's aloft hand, her own eyes gleamed. Scooting right over, she pressed herself up right against Artemis, who exhaled loudly in shock. She craned her neck up to his ear and smirked as he shuddered.

"Am I that revolting that you don't want to be close to me?" Her sudden boldness intensifying, she snuggled closer to him, resting her head against his chest. "We are _lovers_, after all."

A sudden gasp of delight told her that Teteph had noticed them. Artemis stiffly brought his arm around her, awkwardly patting her shoulder. Holly rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Artemis," she whispered. The boy mumbled something incoherent in response. "If this is how you always act around females, it's no wonder you're single."

This last part would usually not have bothered Artemis – who needs a girl? Most of them don't even know their own intelligence quotient – but after establishing his feelings for Holly, he found this fact, discovered by none other than her, quite mortifying.

"I can be romantic," he muttered, keeping his eyes on the screen. He found he could not process the Tyrannosaurus Rex that seemed to be head-butting a car (excellent computer-generated imagery for the time, he thought), instead fully aware of the fact that Captain Holly Short was using him as something much like a pillow.

"Artemis Fowl, romantic," said Holly mockingly. "Why yes, of course. I see the connection."

The elf was having her own turmoil of feelings rushing through her body. At first, she had been simply cuddling up to Artemis because she wanted to see more of his endearing behaviour as he squirmed in discomfort. As the seconds passed, however, and she felt his irregular heartbeat against her ear, her own pulse began to quicken. She enjoyed being like this, with Artemis awkwardly placing his arm on her back, feeling his warmth against her, smelling, for once, not cologne on a male, and she was happy.

Be as it may, she was also becoming increasingly uncomfortable. It was wrong to have such feelings for a human. She was at least forty years older than him and they were different species. She would have to stop this, even if it meant declaring that the two weren't lovers to the Rebel Group.

Making up her mind, she began to straighten up but found a force stopping her. Artemis had her enfolded completely against him, sly while she was preoccupied with her thoughts, his arm holding her close. He looked down at her with a very different expression from the uncomfortable one from before. Holly stared at his roguish smile in stunned disbelief for a few seconds. Artemis leaned in and breathed into her ear.

"I can be romantic," he said.

Holly sank back down, and she couldn't help but smile. She didn't have the heart to stop this, at least for tonight.

* * *

After everyone else had gone to bed that night, Artemis Fowl and N°1 stood in the Artemis's study. Artemis had a messenger bag, grimacing at its weight. N°1 looked at him anxiously.

"So you're _absolutely sure_ you want to do this," he said.

"Absolutely," replied Artemis. "Please do it soon, otherwise I'm going to lose the last of my courage."

N°1 sighed. "Very well. If you're not back in five seconds…"

"It will all be my fault," said Artemis, giving a small smile.

Four seconds later, N°1 was the only one in the room.


	14. Chapter 14

**What is this? I uploaded already! Yay. I understand that there may be some things that you think don't make sense, but I haven't really proof read this so I don't really know. Please tell me if you find anything unusual. Enjoy!**

* * *

The next morning, Artemis Fowl woke up feeling more drained than usual due to the previous night's events. Rolling over, he focused blearily on his clock: 7:15 am.  
Inhaling loudly in stunned disbelief, he tried to get up but instead got tangled in his duvet and fell to the floor.  
He lay there for a moment, recovering, and wondered when the last time was that he had embarrassed himself like this.  
Never, he decided.  
He was still lying there, wrapped up in his duvet, when his bedroom door opened. He started to get up but then resigned himself to the fact that his reflexes were too poor, and lay his head down to accept his humiliation.

Holly stared at the boy, entangled in his sky-blue duvet. Her grim expression vanished and she snorted with laughter. Soon, she was unable to support herself and rested her hands on her knees, still laughing. Artemis scrambled to his feet, face red, before being caught in the twisted blanket and falling to the ground again.

"Ow," he mumbled.

Holly, still gasping for air, straightened up. "Wow," she said. "I've never seen you look so…so…making a fool of yourself. Do you always sleep like that? It looks awfully uncomfortable."

"Be quiet, Captain Short," growled the boy, pushing off the duvet and getting to his feet. Holly's eyes widened; he was wearing blue pyjamas, the same colour as the duvet. Artemis, seeing this, hastily grabbed the blanket and covered himself. "What are you doing in my room?" he snapped. "Get out. You didn't even knock."

"I did," said Holly, solemn again. "You were probably too busy sleeping peacefully on the floor."

Artemis looked away, face still red. "What do you want?"

Holly hesitated. "Well, I wanted to talk to you. Outside," she added pointedly. Artemis met her gaze, and they both knew what the unspoken word was: the Rebel Group.

"We can't," said Artemis. "Bay might be outside, or have you forgotten?"

"Yes, well," said Holly, getting frustrated, "But…he might not. I can look after myself, Artemis. Like you said – I'm Captain Short."

Artemis sighed. "Is this really that important?" he said. "Can this not wait until after all this is over?"

"No," said Holly. "It's bothering me." Before Artemis could object, she added quickly, "I'll meet you outside the manor in five minutes. Be there." She left before Artemis could open his mouth, closing the door firmly behind her.

Artemis sank to the floor again, rubbing his face wearily. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

* * *

"What is it?"

Holly turned around, getting up from the doorstep. Artemis stood at the door, his arms folded.

"Really, Artemis," she said. "That's how you greet people?"

"Look," said Artemis, stepping out and closing the door. "I don't want to be out here any longer than is necessary. I don't want _you_ to be. So get to the point."

Holly narrowed her eyes. "Alright. I'll get to the point. I'm going to tell the Rebel Group that we aren't lovers."

Artemis froze. "What?"

"You heard me," said Holly. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I'm sixty years older than you, Artemis. It's wrong."

"But –"

"It's just an ethical issue, Artemis. I'm sorry if I ruin the plan in any way, and so I understand why you would be upset, but it –"

"I'm not upset because of the plan!" exclaimed Artemis, throwing his hands into the air. Holly stopped.

"…What?"

"Holly," said Artemis, stepping closer to her. "I don't care about you ruining the plan. That's the least of my worries."

"Don't say any more," warned Holly. She feared she knew where this was going, and she couldn't let him say it.

"I don't care about what the Rebel Group thinks, and what we're supposed to pretend to be," continued Artemis relentlessly.

"I'm warning you, Artemis –"

"Do you know what I do care about, Holly?"

"Stop! Shut up!" said Holly, starting to panic, and she backed away rapidly, tripping over her feet. "Don't say any more."

"Holly, I care about the fact that I can't pretend."

"I warned you!" spat Holly, and now there were tears in her eyes. "Just shut up. Go away. Leave me alone."

"I love you," said Artemis.

It was as if time has frozen. Holly stared at him, open-mouthed, and Artemis stared right back, the faintest flush creeping into his cheeks but his expression hard and determined.

Suddenly, she snapped out of it.

"Don't think that I –"

She was cut off by a sudden _whoosh_. She barely had time to look around before the nail-shaped transport landed lightly on the freshly mown lawn of Fowl Manor, a hatch sliding open and a robotic arm extending to snatch the elf, taking her inside. It was all over in less than a second.

Artemis barely had time to process what had just happened. He just stood there, gaping at the scene, before turning to call Butler for help. The transport hissed and a soft voice spoke through an intercom.

"Artemis Fowl the Second," it sighed. The voice was male, although the light tone was female. "You do not _know_ how long I have been waiting for you to slip up."

Artemis wondered what would happen if he dashed into the manor. Would he be putting Holly in more danger?

"Now, now, _don't_ move," said the voice. "Otherwise I will have no choice but to _fly off_."

"What do you want?" said Artemis through gritted teeth. He was sure he already knew.

There was a pause, and then a soft, girlish chuckle.

"Oh dear," it said. "_No_ manners, Arty. Artemis. Isn't that a _girl's_ name?"

Artemis closed his eyes, counted to ten, and then opened them again. "Are you Bay?"

"Why, yes." The exiled fairy sounded vaguely surprised. "I have a deal to make with you."

Artemis felt a strange sense of déjà vu, and he remembered being in a similar situation with Teteph. He smiled dryly to himself. How ironic; two conflicting sides.

"What is it?" he said.

"The Alpha Drive for Captain Short," said Bay.

* * *

Artemis hadn't anticipated that his plan would run ahead of him this early. He knew he would have to buy some time for him to be successful; he needed twenty minutes.

"How long do I have to decide?" he asked.

"Two minutes," came the reply.

"I can't have two minutes," said Artemis. "That's unacceptable. How am I supposed to make such a huge decision in 120 seconds?"

"Time is ticking," purred Bay.

Cursing, Artemis turned on his heel and sprinted back into the manor. He ran to the kitchen, opening the cupboards and upending bottles as he searched. At last, he found what he was looking for and slipped the two pills into his pocket. Next, he ran to his study, his breath tearing at his throat, and unlocked the safe as fast as he could. Grabbing the Alpha Drive and a small container, he kicked the safe shut and ran into the bathroom. He unscrewed the container, slipping the object inside onto his eye, blinked rapidly, and then sprinted back outside.

_Foaly had better not have let me down_, he thought.

"A minute over," said Bay, "But I'll forgive you. Now, come into the ship."

Artemis, panting like a dog, walked as slowly as he dared towards the open hatch.

"_Faster_," hissed Bay.

Artemis ignored the elf, taking the metal steps towards the hatch one at a time. At last, he was inside.

The ship, as Bay called it, looked much more impressive inside than outside. Outside, it was simply a sleek, grey transport, but inside it was full of LED screens, flashing and beeping, and luxurious swivel-chairs attached to the domed ceiling.

He checked his watch; fifteen minutes to go.

"This way," crooned Bay. His voice came from the front of the ship, presumably the cockpit. Artemis edged his way slowly, keeping his eyes on his watch. Thirteen minutes…Ten minutes…

At last, he reached what was indeed the cockpit. His footsteps clanged against the steel floor, and he heard Bay giggle elatedly.

The first thing Artemis saw was Holly. Her wrists and ankles were tied together by rope, her mouth taped shut, and Bay himself – a sprite, and an unusually intelligent one at that – lounged on a large swivelling armchair-like piece of furniture beside her, an earpiece hooked to his small head. In front of him was a huge screen, showing a completely empty Irish countryside – the entrance to the lower Elements.

Artemis barely spared him a glance, turning to Holly.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Holly nodded. He turned his attention to Bay. "Here, I've got the Alpha Drive."

"Oh, goodie," said Bay, his eyes half-closed in lazy delight. "Now, just so you know…if you try anything, all I have to do is press this button –" and here he circled a round red button on the dashboard with a thin finger, "And your Holly here will be killed instantly. There is a double-edged sword behind the trapdoor against her back, but the spring won't be activated unless I press this dramatically red button here."

Artemis froze, unable to move. "Don't," he managed to say.

"Oh, I won't," said Bay. "Just give me the Alpha Drive and the two of you will walk free."

"No, wait," said Artemis. "Tell me what you plan to do first."

Bay looked amused. "Buying time, are we?"

"No," said Artemis. "I thought this was what all villains did."

Bay's expression darkened. "You think _I'm_ the villain?" He sat up in his chair, paused, and then shrugged, lowering himself back down. "Fair enough. But then again, you're too narrow-minded to understand, I suppose."

"Oh, no, do tell me," said Artemis, trying to keep his sarcasm to a minimum. Bay studied him thoughtfully, tapping a pointy chin.

"Oh, all right. You're just too adorable. Now…" he gathered his thoughts, his finger still ominously close to the red button. "I dream of fairies living on the Surface once more. However, there is a problem. It's really quite irritating."

"Humans," said Artemis. "Yes, I quite agree. They're really annoying, aren't they?"

"Shut up," said Bay idly. "Anyway, the fairies are too weak-minded to actually _do_ anything. You're a man of action, Arty. You understand."

Artemis flicked his eyes to his watch. Five minutes.

"I knew that no one would join me in invading the Surface," said Bay.

"What?" said Artemis, momentarily distracted.

"Yes," said Bay. "Invading the Surface. That is the only way. We are technologically superior, you see. So I knew that no one would join me, but I believed in the greater good, so I realised that I had to use my special power, my _mesmera_, to _make_ everyone join me."

"You're mad," said Artemis.

"I'm not mad," snapped Bay. "I'm the only sane one here."

"So that's why you had to reuse Holly all the time, isn't that right?" said Artemis. "Because you're exiled, you only have the magic you had at the time of your exile – you can't perform the Ritual to bring any more back. So you could only control Holly and therefore use no magic. Let me guess: you only have enough now to control one more fairy."

"You are a _smart_ Mud Man," breathed Bay, sitting up again. "Quite truly. Yes, you are correct."

"And so you need to use the Alpha Drive," continued Artemis, "Because it lets you mass control everyone who's using a communicator in the Lower Elements, which is basically all of the fairies, and technically you would only be using enough magic for one person because the Alpha Drive is one 'ear', transmitting to all of the communication devices to control everyone."

"Correct." Bay looked extremely impressed now. "Perhaps I will mention you once I am famous. The Mud Man who tried to thwart me – but failed, obviously. Now, the Alpha Drive."

As Artemis handed the Main Communicator over, he checked his watch once more. Three minutes.

"Excellent," said Bay. "You know, I went through great pains because of the Rebel Group; they almost ruined everything."

"They – what?" said Artemis, confused.

"I sent Captain Short to kill you, because I heard of how _awfully _good you are at thwarting plans, but I didn't realise you had a _bodyguard_. I had to get my precious spy to safety, and quickly. When I sent her out again, this time to listen in on the conference to find out more about the Lower Elements, the Rebel Group had to disable the Alpha Drive and then blow the whole place up. I lost all contact with her after that, of course. I had been communicating with her through that awfully dim-headed Chix's communicator, but then they were all taken down. But now, I will switch it back on and, forgive me for sounding cliché, rule the world. Of a sense." He paused, weighing the Alpha Drive in one hand. "Now, I know you are eager to take Captain Short –"

"Yes, very," said Artemis.

"But I must tell you now, dear Arty, that you should never, _ever_ trust the villain. I will press this button if you leave now. I cannot trust you. But you may watch me create my own, perfect army. Now, because I cannot have you listening to my voice, as that would deter my magic…"

He clapped headphones over Artemis and Holly's heads, shutting out all sound. The sprite lifted a portion of the pad of Artemis's ear to whisper, "If you take it off, I will kill Captain Short."

Artemis swallowed. He didn't have to look at his watch anymore. He was counting in his head.

"It will all be over soon," said Bay. Artemis was adept at reading lips, but he felt strangely detached from what was going on. "After I conquer Ireland, I will go elsewhere and control the fairies over there. It's all very simple. They will have no choice _but_ to follow me, once they see the success in this country."

_Twenty…nineteen…eighteen…_

"You are _honoured_ to watch this, don't you see, Artemis Fowl? It's truly life-changing."

_Fourteen…thirteen…twelve…_

Bay leaned into the Alpha Communicator, pressed the TRANSMIT TO ALL DEVICES button, and began to layer his voice with _mesmera_. Artemis could not hear what he said next, but he could feel the power of the magic. Even if Artemis had not been watching Bay's lips, he knew what the sprite said next.

_Come to the surface with weapons and destroy the Mud Men_.

_Zero_.

* * *

**The whole Foaly thing where Artemis goes "**_**Foaly had better not have let me down**_**"…that was something I should have put in the previous chapter. So just assume that he and Foaly had a mysterious conversation. Haha. **


	15. Chapter 15

**As you can see, Wreaking Havoc is drawing to a close. I know for sure that I'm going to miss it once it's over – there's only around two or three chapters left after this one. Because it's nearly finished, it would be nice if this story received some more reviews, because there's not really going to be a chance for it to be reviewed after it's over. Enjoy this chapter – it's the last plot-filled one, I believe – and thanks so much for reading. :)**

* * *

For a single, dramatic second, there was nothing on the screen. The empty farmland was still, the houses vacant, the paddocks tranquil as a few cows grazed near the fences.

A slight movement.

Suddenly, dozens of fairies began to pour uncontrollably out of the Lower Elements, the majority emerging from the busiest exit: the farmland. They were all holding whatever form of communication they had been using at the time, be it a phone, radio or standard wrist-attached communicator, as well as almost comical weapons; a broom and umbrella amongst the more sinister Neutrinos and kitchen knives.

_Well_, thought Artemis idly, _this just proves how insane Bay is_. And then – _the humans are really going to take this seriously_. Surreptitiously, he slid a hand inside his jacket and pressed a speed dial key on his phone. Lowering his head, he waited for his bodyguard to pick up. "Now, if you will, Butler," he murmured.

The next second, there was a flash of brightest blue light, visible from the ship's glazed window. Artemis slipped one of the pills from his pocket into his mouth, giving an open-mouthed Bay a smug look before toppling backwards. He was asleep before he hit the floor.

As for the exiled fairy, he found himself stuck in an ingenious time-stop, the meddling boy no longer present. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.

Scrambling to the window, the sprite stared out in stunned disbelief at four time stop towers, the magic stored in batteries sitting around the ship. They had certainly not been there before, and he was very vocal about this.

"They – they weren't there before!" he screamed shrilly, hammering at the window with tiny fists. "Let me out of this – this – force field! Let me _out_!"

Holly took this chance to slip out of the ropes she had been silently untying, grabbing Bay around the waist and ripping the tape from her mouth. Before the sprite could react, she slapped it to his own mouth and began to methodically tie him up.

Breathing hard, she gave him her best grin, flashing sharp incisors. "There," she said. As a last measure to further up the irony, she pulled off the headphones and snapped them around his head. She then turned him around so she couldn't see his eyes, giving him a pat on the head as if he were a child.

"Too bad it's your company I have to live with for a while," she said. "But at least I'm in charge now."

She checked the screen – now that there was no _mesmera_ laden voice to control them, the fairies were wandering about in confusion, dazed and tripping over their feet in disorientation. A few bumped into the cows, half-heartedly waving their weapons at the animals as they awoke from the magic. Holly pressed the TRANSMIT TO ALL DEVICES button – Bay had previously taken her communicator and connected it – before leaning in.

"This is Captain Short of the LEP," she said, putting on her most professional voice. She had been working on it – she was sure she was getting better. "Return underground immediately. I repeat: return underground immediately. Thank you."

She then sat back in the armchair with a weary sigh, and waited.

* * *

"Artemis. Artemis! Wake up!"

Groaning, Artemis opened his eyes. His eyelids felt like a thousand pounds.

"What is it?" he mumbled groggily. "Why – what –" Suddenly, his memory returned to him in a rush, and he sat up so fast his head whirled. He patted the ground around him; grass. So Butler had taken him out of the ship after receiving his call.

Butler helped Artemis to his feet. "What's happening?" he demanded. "What were you doing in there?"

"I'm sorry, old friend, I should have elaborated when I asked you for this favour," said Artemis, rubbing his temples as he attempted to regain a clear head. "But, you know. It's dangerous to confide an entire plan to others. Even you, Butler. But, tell me – there was no one else in the ship, right?"

Butler looked at his employer, his brows joining in a suspicious stare. "…No. What _was_ your plan, Artemis? Tell me now."

Artemis exhaled, the effects of the sleeping pill still clinging to him. "Later, I promise," he said. "Right now, I have work to do."

As he said this, Holly appeared at the open hatch of the ship. She looked tired but grimly satisfied, dragging a gloomy sprite behind her with the Alpha Drive tucked under one arm.

"Artemis," she called. "You did it." A huge smile broke her drained face. As she reached them, Artemis's breath caught in his throat. How did she manage to look so…good, even after what she had just been through?

As if she had read his mind, Holly's face darkened and she dropped Bay's arm. He fell in a crumpled heap to the grass, and she pushed the Alpha Drive into Artemis's chest.

"Next time, though," she said, "_Don't_ create such a concentrated time-stop. You had me in there for a week, you know."

Butler looked chagrined. "Artemis! Is this true? This isn't how you treat a lady!"

Artemis rubbed his head sheepishly, looking at Bay instead; the disgraced sprite was so much easier to look at. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'll take that into account next time."

"There had better be no next time," warned Butler. "I've had enough of this."

Rubbing his hands, Artemis gave a brisk nod, back to his old, ambitious self. "I'll try. I cannot stand here and chat, however. I have something to do, you see, so if you will excuse me." He began to turn before he remembered something. He looked Holly straight in the eye, bolder than he had ever been before. "And, Holly – I have to talk to you later."

Without waiting for any response, the boy ran back into Fowl Manor – he was really beginning to see progress in his fitness level with all these heart rate increasing exercises. As he went, he began to call Foaly using Holly's communicator, which was still connected to the Alpha Drive. Dismissing the standard greetings, he began talking as soon as the centaur was connected.

"Foaly, I need you to render the video captured by my iris cam and send it to me by email. Can you do that? Now?"

Foaly's reply was rather unsatisfactory. "Are you _running_?"

The absolute disbelief in his tone made Artemis feel a little annoyed. "Yes, I am _running_," he said. "Can you do it _now_? Oh, and contact Commander afterwards, will you, Foaly? Tell him I have a gift for him, and he had better bring a large aircraft. Immediately." He paused. "Oh, and tell him that he had better not throw Mulch in jail, either, if he wants this bigger haul. I know they caught him on the way here, since he was supposed to come here hours ago."

He ended the call without waiting for a response, throwing the drive into an open guest room as he passed. He would bear the admonishments of the LEP later.

He sprinted upstairs to his study, only slightly out of breath, turning the handle and kicking the door open the rest of the way in his haste. The boy leapt onto his swivel chair and booted up the computer, tapping piano concerto no. 3 on his desk impatiently as it loaded.

By the time he was in, Artemis had an email from an untraceable address. He had to admire the centaur's speed. Leaning in towards the screen – far closer than was necessary, his eyes probably receiving a good roasting – he slipped a blank CD into the computer and got to work.

* * *

After five minutes, Artemis Fowl was done. Now aware of how tired he was, he began to descend the stairs at a slower rate than usual, a CD in one hand. It was all over. Almost.

Halfway down, he nearly collided with Teteph in his dreamy, disbelieving state at the prospect of the whole episode with the Rebel Group and Bay nearing its end. The dwarf had been hurrying up and down the huge, winding staircase for ten minutes, searching for the boy.

"What is going on?" she demanded, once she had recovered from barrelling head-first into Artemis's stomach. "I heard sounds, and the Rebel Group have reported to me that there is a strange sprite –"

"Bay, and thank you for telling me about him," said Artemis wryly, wincing slightly as he rubbed his stomach. The dwarf's skull was certainly tough. "And, on that note, I would like my gold now."

Teteph stared at him blankly. "…Gold?"

"My payment, remember?" Artemis, straightening up, inspected his fingernails in a very annoying fashion. "You know. Our deal…?" With two fingers, he fished a card out of his breast pocket. "Half a brick of gold."

Teteph's jaw dropped. "_You did it_?"

"Yes, I did it," said Artemis, treating her to one of his infamous vampire smiles. "Would you like evidence?"

He led her to the nearest television – not the flashiest, only forty inches – and slipped the CD into the DVD player.

"What is this?" said Teteph.

"Watch," replied Artemis.

On the television screen, it showed the Irish farmland. Fairies, dazed after being under the control of the _mesmera_, wandered about in bemusement.

"You – they – the fairies are on the _Surface_?" exclaimed Teteph, her hands shooting to her face. It had darkened considerably in her shock.

"Yes," said Artemis, and he flicked off the television. "They are. And, in fact, I can get you and the rest of your little group to ride an aircraft I asked for _exclusively_ for you to watch history unfold itself. It should be arriving soon – ah."

Overhead, they heard the low rumble of a hefty aircraft flying over the manor. Artemis gave Teteph a rather sinister smile, which she missed in her delirious excitement.

"_History_!" She crowed. "This will make _history_!"

She followed Artemis back outside, where he went straight to the farmhouse. The Rebel Group, insatiably curious, were standing on the manicured lawn against orders to stay hidden, staring in awe at the enormous aircraft that was having trouble finding a clear space to land. In the end, it opted for the land behind the farmhouse, just managing to squeeze itself in. The resulting gale of wind blew right in the Rebel Group's faces, their hair flying comically.

Artemis strode over to the head elf, Ivan, and extended a hand formally to shake. Ivan looked distinctly aggravated by the unceremonious welcome they had received by the aircraft.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded, squinting at it. "We could have been crushed by that thing!"

"It's simply for your viewing pleasure," said Artemis coolly. Ivan looked, most understandably, baffled.

"What –?"

Teteph pushed Artemis to the side, her green eyes glowing. "_Sir_," she gasped, clutching at the leader's thin shoulders with her thick hands, "It has been done. _It has been done_."

Ivan blinked at his second-in-command, none the wiser. "I – uh – what?"

"_He did it_!" Teteph jabbed a finger in Artemis's direction, who flashed a wily smile on cue. "He – he brought the People to the Surface! I saw with my own eyes – he had taped it all –"

"And I would be honoured if you and your group wandered over to _that thing_, which, most obligingly, is present to take you high in the sky to observe history unfolding itself. But before you go, I would like my gold."

Ivan was, unfortunately, a little more intelligent than the dwarf, and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Artemis.

"Are you telling the truth?" he said forcefully.

Artemis raised his hands, palms upwards, still with that devious grin. "I have said nothing but."

He wondered briefly whether he should change his expression to something more friendly, but figured the group would go anyway. And, of course, he was right.

"Ivan, let's go!" said a dwarf, tugging excitedly at the elf's elbow. "This is a _once in a lifetime opportunity_!"

"…Hmm…"

Ivan tapped his chin, but Artemis knew he was only feigning hesitation. Clearly, the elf didn't want to appear too eager. At last, he dropped his hand.

"All right, then," he said gruffly, and shook the grovelling dwarf off his arm. "Lyle, hurry up and get the gold."

Lyle's face was as blank as paper. "Gold?"

Artemis felt cold dread run down his spine; they did have the gold, didn't they?

But he needn't have worried. The next second, the dwarf's face lit up. "_Ooh_! The _gold_!"

Ivan slapped his palm to his face, and did not remove it until Lyle returned, puffing loudly. The dwarf thrust the half-brick of gold towards Ivan, but Artemis stepped in and took it instead. Lyle began to protest, but Ivan waved him away.

"Get on the aircraft, Lyle," he said dismissively. "And tell everyone else to get on too."

Artemis was not concentrating on any of this. He was staring at the gold, weighing it elatedly, feeling excitement build in his chest. He had _gold_.

Abruptly, he turned to the aircraft. All of the Rebel Group was now inside, and in the cockpit window he saw a familiar face. Trouble.

Artemis flashed a very nefarious grin at the Commander, who tipped his uniform cap in grudging thanks.

* * *

In the aircraft, Ivan felt something was off. For one thing, there were LEP officers inside with them. And for another, they seemed to be heading in the direction of Haven – where, consequentially, there were prisons. He turned to Teteph, who was staring, slack-jawed, at a dwarf starting to get off the aircraft. He gave her an apologetic smile which she did not return.

"I'm sorry to hear about what happened," said Mulch Diggums, relishing in his newfound freedom. "But, you know, it was either you or me. And you _did_ call my feet flabby that one time."

Teteph did not have a response to this.

* * *

The aircraft hurled more wind, hitting Artemis full-blast, before rising into the air and flying off.

Artemis turned away, gold in hand, feeling a little sorry for what he had done. But not enough to want to take any of it back.

Smiling a little, a normal, teenager's smile, Artemis Fowl began to walk back to the manor.


	16. Chapter 16

**This is the official ending of Wreaking Havoc, not including the epilogue. So sad :'(. Therefore, I have made this chapter long(er than usual). :)**

* * *

"Fanks fo invitin' me to this celebration dinner," said Mulch Diggums, only his rear end visible as he sifted through the pantry, stuffing high-calorie food down his gluttonous gullet. "Y'know, I never knew you 'ad it in you." He backed out of food paradise, seemingly oblivious to the stares he was receiving from Butler, Holly, Foaly, N°1, Trouble and all his LEP officers. "_Y'know_," he said, "Being _generous_ and all. Kind." At last, he managed to swallow the food in his mouth without another truckload entering, leaving it mercifully empty.

"Yes, well," said Artemis, unsure of what to say, "Are you planning on joining us at the table to eat in a civilised way anytime soon?"

Mulch tutted, joining the others. "Alright, maybe I spoke to soon." He sat down on the Artemis's left with a theatrical sigh, the chair creaking loudly. "So, tell us exactly how you managed to kill two birds with one stone," he said. He stared at the fruit salad in front of him in disgust. "And I never ordered this. I want a refund."

"You'll eat that all before you have steak," said Artemis, very much like a mother. "You're getting plump. And anyway, don't you want to eat some more later on tonight, at the celebration party?"

Foaly snickered. "Yeah, dwarf," he said. "You won't be able to fit into anything. Your criminal days are over if you get a pot-belly."

"Speak for yourself, centaur," said Mulch, patting his protruding stomach lovingly. "For your information, I happen to be exceptionally proud of this baby. It's helped me more than once when I needed a soft landing."

Foaly gagged and turned to his food.

"_Anyway_," said Mulch, shooting the centaur a nasty look, "You didn't answer my question, Arty. And I only plan to stick around another hour for that party _only if_ there's pasta."

"Don't call me that," Artemis said automatically. An evil glint shone in Mulch's tawny eyes.

"What, so _I_ can't say it, your special, irreplaceable, fantastic, devilishly handsome friend, but _Holly_, an officer of the LEP who if I must remind you was kidnapped by _you_, can?"

Artemis's mouth opened slightly, wordless for once. He slowly turned his head to his right, where Holly sat looking very flustered.

"I – that's none of your business, Mulch!" she said. "As much as I like you, I'm going to blast you with my Neutrino if something as suggestive as that ever leaves that mouth of yours again."

The table fell into silence, broken only by a giggle from one of the LEP officers.

"Shut up, Grub!" said Holly, her brows angled downwards threateningly. Grub gulped, silenced.

Artemis decided that an intellectually superior person – or genius, more like – should break the silence this time, i.e., him.

"About your question," he said, regaining composure and carefully cutting off a corner of his steak. "I'm assuming, naturally, that you are talking about the Rebel Group and the exiled fairy, Bay. Yes, it was quite ingenious, if I do say so myself." He paused to eat the chunk of meat, chewing leisurely. He wasn't sure, but he thought Holly muttered something about modesty. "Well, I used N°1's warlock magic to travel through a time tunnel, going forwards in time."

There were gasps from all around the table, especially from the LEP officers.

"_Fowl_!" exclaimed Trouble, rising to his feet. "That – that is unacceptable! You cannot just decide to –"

"It gets worse for you, I'm afraid, Commander," said Artemis, methodically cutting off another piece of steak. He was really enjoying this, especially as his explanation of his plan included watching Trouble's face darken to rival that of Root's. "After I went forwards in time, I travelled to all the exits of the Lower Elements. I made sure that the area would be clear an hour from then – an accident, a conference for all farmers – whatever I had to do to ensure no one would be present. Back at the manor, I placed four time stop towers –"

"_WHAT_?"

"–Around the front yard," continued Artemis relentlessly. "I then activated them before returning to the present day. I was going to inform Holly on my plan, so that she could be ready when she was captured –"

"YOU WERE GOING TO LET HOLLY BE CAPTURED ON PURPOSE? YOU CLEARLY PLACE NO VALUE ON ANYONE ELSE'S LIFE BUT YOUR OWN!"

Trouble glared across the table at Artemis, his face beetroot red, his chest rising and falling visibly as he recovered from his shouting.

"Allow me to continue," said Artemis calmly. He laid his knife and fork down carefully, interlacing his fingers and looking each open-mouthed person in the eye. "As I was saying. I was going to inform Holly so that she could be captured at the optimum time, when the future me activated the time stop towers just after the iris cam I was wearing captured the People coming out of the Lower Elements, thus making it appear that I was responsible for somehow bringing them all to the Surface when showing the clip as evidence to the Rebel Group – or a member of it, anyway, hence receiving my gold, which was my reward, before sending them away to jail."

Artemis's eyes glazed over as he recalled how hectic the day had been.

"Unfortunately, unexpected events caused Holly to be captured a little…earlier than expected." At this, his cheeks darkened, and Holly looked down in embarrassment. "But, in the end, everything worked out flawlessly. Just before the time stop occurred, I swallowed a sleeping pill to escape it and had Butler get me out of the ship and wake me up. I had been prepared to give one to Holly as well, but that was before I saw her mouth was taped shut."

The room was silent for a while. Suddenly, Butler broke it by unexpectedly striding over to his employer and sweeping him up into a bone-crushing hug.

"You're truly a genius, Artemis," he said, feeling such affection he could only express it by loosening his hold – the boy was surely asphyxiating. "I feel honoured to be your bodyguard."

"No, Butler, old friend," said Artemis, and he momentarily forgot about the others as sentimentality coursed to his head. "I feel honoured to have you as my friend." He remembered how loyally Butler had protected him, ever since he was born, time and time again, and he thought – not for the first time, but for the first time truly wondering – whether he truly deserved it. Butler was, in every sense, a better person than he.

As if she had heard his troubled thoughts, Holly slid a hand over his own, resting limply on his lap. She gave him an encouraging smile, squeezing softly, and he felt the corners of his own lips rise. In his peripheral vision, he saw N°1's eyes light up as the warlock spotted their joined hands.

"And, of course, I feel honoured to have you as my friend, Holly," he said. "You two have helped me so much; have always been there for me; have changed me for the better. I can't thank you enough."

Something flashed across Holly's face, but Artemis couldn't read it. Disappointment? Affection? Surprise?

It was gone too fast, leaving the female elf with a blasé expression.

Everyone else was speechless. Artemis Fowl expressing this much emotion? _The_ Artemis Fowl?

The LEP officers shifted about uncomfortably in their seats. They had come for the food, not the show.

"I love you, Artemis!" blurted out N°1, overcome by emotion. "You're the _greatest_, you know that? You – you just saved two species!" His whole body sparked and fizzled with mauve light as he spoke passionately, Trouble and Foaly leaning away nervously. "You're the _best_!"

Artemis reddened. "I –"

"No, don't be stupid, that's me," said Mulch, already finishing his plate of steak. Artemis blinked and looked down; an untouched fruit salad greeted him. "Of course, Arty is kinda great, since he saved two species, if you put it that way."

"Well, all right, so maybe a bit," grumbled Foaly, his own ego itching to be stroked. "But, you know, who supplied the iris cam? Who supplied the Time Stop Towers?"

"That's against almost all the regulations in the rulebook!" muttered Trouble in response, but he didn't say anything more.

"You _rock_, Artemis," crowed Grub.

"_Yeah_," said a fellow LEP officer, getting over the fact he still had no idea what was going on.

"Totally," agreed another.

"I don't even know you personally, but that sounds about right."

Artemis looked down, bashful for what he could only think of as the first time in his life. Holly's hand tightened on his, and his fingers twitched. He wished he could hold all of her, not just her hand, but…that would have to wait.

"Holly," he murmured. "Would you mind joining me out on the terrace tonight at eight?"

Holly, heart hammering in her chest, slowly relinquished her grip on Artemis's hand. "I…I would love to," she said, and from the elated feelings that rushed through her blood, it was almost as if she was forty again.

* * *

Holly stood before the full-length mirror, already trembling out of pure nerves. She tried to fixate her attention on the beautiful brass sides of the mirror, intricate carvings dipping and curling, but found her chattering teeth were stopping her from forgetting.

The party guests had all arrived; she could hear them out in the enormous foyer, chattering and eating. Somehow, the clinks of glass and the carefree laughter made her feel nervous. She would see Artemis out there, and she would have to face him in fifteen minutes out in the terrace.

Holly had an idea where it would be going. She herself had been thinking of little else since being released from the time stop; how did she truly feel about the boy?

In complete honesty, she could now tell her shaking reflection that she loved him with all her heart, as soppy as it sounded. She found she could care less about being sixty. That was still young for a fairy, dammit.

"D'arvit," she muttered, bracing herself against the mirror. "You're going crazy, Short." She pressed her hot forehead against the cool glass, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. She could do this. This was easy! She had defeated trolls ten times larger than her before; a pubescent teenage boy should be a relief.

Unfortunately, she found pubescent teenage boys – in particular, one called Artemis Fowl – much more daunting.

"Pull yourself together, Captain Short." She tried to give herself a pep talk, jumping up and down on the balls of her feet to release her nervous tension, much like she did before confronting an intimidating aggressor or a crazy-sounding mission. Somehow, Artemis seemed like both; an aggressor to her heart and an insane mission to complete.

The elf mentally gagged; she had never known she had such corniness in her.

Holly started for the door, pausing with a hand on the handle, checking her reflection one last time. She wore a simple cream sundress, something from the wardrobe – possibly Juliet's – highly uncharacteristic but somehow suiting her too well for her to take off. She sucked in a deep breath, wishing she wasn't such a wobbling piece of cowardly jelly, before heading for the foyer.

The foyer was a vast room, the floor polished tiles that reflected the peoples' shoes, marble pillars rising along the sides. A chandelier hung from the high domed ceiling, dripping sparkling crystals.

If there was one room the Fowls had spent extravagantly on, Holly thought, it was the foyer. Then again, that was understandable; they would have had plenty of parties.

Holly had been worried that she would be under-dressed, but looking around at the milling guests she saw that everyone had dressed more or less semi-formally. Looking around, she wondered whether Artemis had invited the entire Lower Elements. The place was full of dancing, fairies celebrating at the saving of their species, as they would have most likely been obliterated by the humans – how on earth did Bay become so insane?

The female elf stepped warily onto the tiled floor, her boot clicking loudly against the polished surface. She looked around, searching for Artemis. She wasn't sure why – did she want to see him, or did she want to avoid him?

Holly's eyes passed over the back of a boy in a t-shirt and jeans, talking to Foaly, before doing a double-take. She stared hard at the figure, and gasped as the person turned around.

"_Artemis_?" She whispered. Artemis had never looked so…teenage-like, or so boyishly handsome. His black hair was tousled, and there were lines under his eyes. He looked distracted, and did not seem to be paying Foaly his full attention; he was looking around the room, a slight frown on his face.

He hadn't seen Holly. She slunk back so that a fairy couple was between them, her mind whirring in shock. Just seeing Artemis would have made her nervous at the moment, but after seeing him looking so …different, all her courage melted away.

"You're a LEP officer, Short," she muttered to herself, but it was half-hearted. She was considering returning to her room until it was time to meet Artemis, but was shaken out of her turbulent thoughts by two hands clapping onto her shoulders. She jumped a mile into the air, turning with the intention of hurting, before dropping her hands with relief. It wasn't Artemis – Frond, she was more frightened of him at the moment than she was of a real enemy – but rather Butler.

"Are you all right, Holly?" he asked her, looking down at her kindly.

"Yes, thanks," said Holly, gasping for breath. Butler, frowning, craned his neck – not that he really had to – before turning his attention back at the elf.

"Artemis is looking for you," he said. "I can see him from here; would you like me to take you to him?"

"No, no, it's all right!" said Holly, laughing unconvincingly and stepping surreptitiously behind a group of giggling sprites as the couple went away. "Really. Thanks anyway." She stopped. "Also, um…do you know what the time is?"

Butler glanced at his watch. "Five to eight," he said. "Is everything all right, Holly?"

"Couldn't be better," Holly replied. "I'm going to have a drink – enjoy the party!"

She hurried to the drinks stand, grabbing a glass of champagne. As she went, she glanced back to make sure that Butler was no longer watching before pushing it into the arms of a dazed, drunken pixie, heading for the terrace.

Once outside and away from the heat of the foyer and all the bodies, Holly breathed a sigh of relief and dropped down onto a bench. The cool breeze was nice on her warm face.

She was almost drifting off to sleep when she felt someone sit down beside her. Cracking open an eye, she saw Artemis and closed it again, groaning. Her head hurt.

"Are you all right, Holly?" he asked, concerned. "Butler told me you were acting strangely. Why didn't you tell me you were at the foyer? I was spending all evening looking for you."

"I was in my room," Holly admitted, opening her eyes. "I…um…don't like parties that much."

Artemis's brows met as he studied Holly. "I see," he said. "You know, Holly, I'm not an –"

"You're the opposite of an idiot, I know," said Holly, sighing. She couldn't resist rolling her eyes.

"You're being really melancholy," said Artemis, persistent. He shifted so that he was facing her. "What's the matter?"

Holly's lip curled. _What's the matter_? As if she could tell him. Oh, nothing's the matter, Artemis. Just that I'm in love with a Mud Boy, which is socially unacceptable, I'm forty years older than you and, oh, did I mention we're from different species?

She didn't say this. Instead, she dropped her eyes to his chest as she searched for something else to say. She didn't have to look long. "Your shirt – does that say _randomosity_?" Despite her earlier nerves and her present interrogation with Artemis, she cracked up laughing. "Oh, Frond, you're wearing a t-shirt that says _randomosity_!"

Artemis's cheeks darkened. "Don't talk about it," he warned, sounding mortified. "I felt bad for my mother because I had never worn her gifts," he said defensively. "And – and anyway…" he trailed off, muttering something.

"What?" said Holly, managing to grin impishly.

"Juliet said I looked good in this outfit, so I thought you would think so too," he mumbled. "And…you look nice in that dress."

Holly felt an involuntarily large smile creep across her face, flattered. "You do look good in that outfit. You should wear it more often. And thank you, Arty," she said, giving him a little shove. He yelped as he nearly fell off, before scowling playfully at her.

"You didn't just push me," he said.

"I believe I just did," Holly replied, baring her small white teeth.

A strange sound came from Artemis, and with a shock she realised he was laughing. Artemis never laughed. Only the occasional, evil chuckle. But never laughed, especially not so…innocently.

Holly found she was spellbound by it. Artemis saw her face and stopped abruptly, frowning. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Uh," said Holly blankly, still dazed. She shook her head, coming out of her reverie. "Sorry. No. It's just – you should laugh more."

Artemis looked shocked for a second, before relaxing his face into a smile. "I'll try." He paused, continuing to gaze at her. "You know, Holly…" he said slowly, sober once more, "you still haven't answered my question, but I can interrogate you about that later. But I have to know; have you thought about what I told you before…the incident?"

_You have no idea_, thought Holly dryly, remembering her time stuck in Bay's ship and being unable to think of anything else. But she decided to tease him a bit. "What do you mean?" she asked, wide-eyed. "What did you tell me?"

Artemis cursed under his breath, and Holly mentally giggled like a little girl. She was going to enjoy squeezing the words back out of that stubborn mouth.

"You know…" he said, his hands waving vaguely, "That time. Before Bay came and…err…took you captive."

Holly leered at him. "Oh, I don't know, the memory must have slipped from my mind," she said. "A lot happened."

The boy stared at her, unable to believe what he was hearing. He was sure this elf was toying with him, and he didn't appreciate it.

He watched as the breeze picked up a strand of her auburn hair, keeping his mouth obstinately shut. The hair brushed tantalisingly at the elf's cheek, and his hand twitched uncontrollably. Lifting it, acting on instinct, he brushed the hair away, becoming emboldened. If Holly was going to play with him…he would play right back.

"I think I should tell you something, Holly," he whispered huskily. "Bay said I was a man of action."

He slid his hand to her chin, lifting it.

He had been half expecting her to stop him by now, to push him away, but when she simply stared, startled, courage began to empower him. He leant down and in one smooth motion brought his lips to hers.

Artemis felt Holly's lips part in surprise, her body stiffening beneath him, before she began to respond. He brought his other hand up, sliding it behind her head, bringing them closer, drawing her to him. Artemis would never have thought that her mouth would be so soft; the taste of her was unlike anything he had ever experienced, and he brought her closer, eager for more, his face angled down to meet the shorter elf's.

After what felt like blissful eternity, they broke apart. Artemis found he could not speak for a moment; he had never felt this way before, and the emotions coursing through him were...exquisite. They denied him his speech, and he could only sit there and gaze at Holly. Holly stared right back, her mismatched eyes mirroring his own. It was strangely enticing, seeing a part of him visible on her face.

At last, the ability to speak returned to him.

"Holly," he said quietly, "That was meant to speak for itself, but I suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to tell you verbally anyway. Holly, I love you."

Holly's smile was warm, gentle and so heart-achingly beautiful.

"I love you too, Artemis."

Artemis opened his mouth, speechless. He stared at her for a moment before blood rushed to his face. "You –" His mind was completely blank, a thought that should have been unnerving but was strangely exhilarating. Holly – loved him?

He found he could not get the words out. "You – Holly – you love –"

Holly grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him back down to her, silencing the stuttering boy. Overhead, the sun sank in the horizon, streaming brightest orange, scarlet streaks running across the sky.

* * *

With a casual flick of his wrist, No1 made Holly's hair blow into her face. Very romantically, of course. He was a sucker for romance.

He watched in glee from behind a large pot plant at the scene that began to unfold, skipping back to the manor graciously to give some privacy.

"Before a glowing sunset, check," he said. "I officially call thee a couple."

* * *

**Artemis's Diary – Encrypted**

I am no longer a petty criminal. My best friend is my bodyguard, and I could not ask for anyone more loyal. My partner is my other half, and with my bodyguard weaned me from my illegitimate ways to become a legitimate person.

I went from kidnapping and gold lust to moral and happy.

Not to sound cliché

Or arrogant

(Although I have been told multiple times I am so)

But…

I saved the world.

I can do anything.

I know this because I have changed, but one thing stays the same.

I am Artemis Fowl the Second.


	17. Don't read

- This is an empty chapter. I deleted a chapter from the story, and now you can't review the epilogue if you reviewed the last official chapter because everything got moved down a chapter. Sorry! -


	18. Epilogue

**This is the epilogue of Wreaking Havoc. It's finally finished. I want to thank **_**all**_** of the people who reviewed, favourited, subscribed, and read. Especially thanks to Nello Orella and ILoveFowl, who have been reviewing all throughout the process, and also to literally every single one of you who read this :) (okay, I just repeated what I said above, shh). I'll be writing a new Artemis Fowl fanfiction next year (can't promise Artemis x Holly), so look out for that :). Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Epilogue**

"Arty! Come give your Mum a hug!"

Artemis ran downstairs, reaching the main corridor in time to see his parents and the two twins, looking windswept and tired but with smiles on their faces, stepping into the manor; even Myles wore a gap-toothed grin, a book under one arm. Beckett's clothes were crumpled, dirty as always, and the pocket of his shorts wriggled.

"Moth - Mum," said Artemis, and Angeline faltered, turning to her husband in amazed disbelief.

"Honey," she said, handing her jacket to Butler, "Arty is wearing my present. He is wearing _jeans_."

And indeed he was. Holly had not needed to persuade him too much, because he was quite happy to wear whatever the female elf found flattering on him. She was currently at Haven, sorting everything out post world-domination-attempt, but she had promised to come visit him the next day. They had their own issues to sort out, after all.

"Yes, mum," said Artemis, and he found the word no longer had to be forced off his tongue; it rolled off, almost naturally. _Perhaps it is the work of these jeans_, he thought. _That is possible, psychologically speaking. By wearing the standard clothes of a teenage boy, my mind is beginning to grow accustomed to –_

His inner monologue was interrupted by Angeline flinging herself at him, squeezing her eldest son so hard he was sure he was suffering from suffocation. Possibly from the strength of her hug, but probably from her expensive perfume.

"Arty, I've missed you _so_ much!" she exclaimed, releasing him at last. Beckett, seeing this opening, charged at Artemis, barely giving him time to breathe, and collided painfully with the older boy's stomach. Artemis doubled over, groaning, and Beckett took this as an invitation to wrap his arms around his brother's neck and cling on like a monkey. Myles looked on in mild aversion, his childish instincts barely suppressed as he detachedly wished he had the energy and immatureness to do the same. Artemis straightened up, Beckett still firmly against his body, and laughed.

Artemis was getting used to laughing. He had had plenty of practice.

"Good to see you again, son," said Artemis Fowl Senior, a smile creasing his scarred face. Artemis nodded in return, setting Beckett down gently.

"How was Singapore?" he asked, unable to keep his own grin down.

"_Great_," said Myles, possibly affronted by the lack of attention he was receiving. "We went to the Singapore Art Museum and saw Recent Art from Contemporary Asia."

Artemis patted Myles on the head, who squirmed away, insulted by the way he was being treated. "And what's that book you're holding?" he asked.

"Women Artists in Singapore," said Myles, a touch of pride in his voice

"Myles has become interested in art," said Angeline, looking at her young son fondly. "I think it's _wonderful_."

"Hmm. Totally legitimate, that's what we're all about now," agreed Artemis Senior, and Artemis winced a little at this. Who could blame him for turning to crime four years ago?

"Father," he said, "Must we really bring this up again?"

"What?" said Artemis Senior, feigning ignorance. "And it's _Dad_ to you, son."

"…Dad," said Artemis, making a face. Perhaps this word would take a little more time to get used to.

The family began walking into the manor, Butler trailing along behind them. Suddenly, Angeline turned to Artemis.

"Artemis," she said, "I've been meaning to ask you. Whatever is the reason for the titanium door?"

* * *

Artemis was surprised his family, his mother above all, had not noticed anything different about Fowl Manor. He had been so _sure_ she had been dying a little inside every time she had to cast her eyes over the debilitating dwelling. The red carpet was so worn and faded it was nearly _pink_…the wallpaper was peeling, revealing a very ugly, whitewashed wall beneath…the kitchens were _years_ old…

Perhaps he should have been even more outright, as he had been with Holly when he presented her with the latest wings – the Hummingbird 5000. They had cost a fortune, and Holly would never have been able to afford it even with the fattest pay check, but it had barely taken a nibble out of his brick of gold. He remembered how she loved to fly, and fly fast – and ever since, he had had a voracious need to fulfil her desire. But she was only part of the reason he had wanted the gold.

At last, Artemis decided to just come out with it. He went to his parents' room, where he found Angeline and Artemis Senior in bed, watching television and talking. They both looked up as their son entered, surprised.

"Arty!" said Angeline, sitting up and nearly spilling her tea. "I thought you would be at your study, doing goodness knows –"

"Mot – Mum," said Artemis, a little impatiently, "Haven't you noticed yet that the television you are watching is a sixty inch, not a fifty inch? Or that it has gone from light grey in colour to black onyx?"

Angeline blinked, sharing a puzzled look with her husband. "Well," she said, squinting at the – now she looked at it properly – considerably different television set in front of her, "Now I have. Whatever did you do?"

"Nothing _illegal_, I hope?" said Artemis Senior, although he didn't look too fazed. He settled back in his cushions, enjoying the new television. "I trust that you haven't."

"No, technically not," said Artemis. He had broken a few fairy laws by even possessing the Time Stop Towers and travelling through time, but really, he figured that didn't really concern human law.

"Well, all right then," said his father. Angeline, however, looked pained.

"How did you get the money, then?" she asked. "Because, now I look at it, our entire bedroom has been refurnished."

Artemis blinked. She really had only _just_ realised?

"Mum," he said, a little aggrieved, "I refurnished the whole _manor_."

Both his parents stared at him, shocked.

"You noticed the door was made out of titanium," said Artemis. "But you didn't see the walls have gone from cream to _eggshell_?"

"I'm sorry, Arty, but –"

"I thought you would love it. I wanted to make you happy," said Artemis, and the disappointment seemed to gnaw at his heart. Angeline saw this, being a mother, and she got out of bed. Setting her cup of tea down, she strode over to her son and embraced him once more.

"_Arty_," she said, and Artemis was surprised to hear her laughing. "I love that you were so thoughtful, but I'm _already_ happy. I've got a wonderful husband, adorable twins, a fantastic, genius son –"

"But you were always talking about how the manor needed –"

"But that was just me being selfish, Arty!" said Angeline, holding him at arm's length to gaze at him lovingly. "You really didn't have to, but I love that you did. Just know that I was always happy, and always will be. Please tell me you didn't go through a lot to get the money for all this."

Artemis smiled, stepping back into his mother's arms. "No, it was no problem at all."


End file.
